Jo’burg drivers have enough to contend with getting from destination A to destination B. Bumper to bumper traffic, broken robots, homeless people begging at your window, sales men on the side of the road trying to force you to buy a stupid toy, taxis and potholes. Now add road kill to the mix and driving in Johannesburg just got that much harder.
With the sudden increase in road kill and dead animals on the road now a days, you would swear that road kill has become the new road pothole.
Driving from my home to work is like visiting the local pet shop. I’ve seen dogs, cats, birds and a few other animal carcasses that were so riddled with maggots and blood, that I could only imagine was a wolf or hyena. Soon I’ll see some exotic animal on the road; I am hoping for a racoon or meerkat!
The thing is, unlike potholes, people just drive over these poor dead animals. With potholes we’ll swerve and try with all our might to miss them, but put a dead goat on the road and we’ll drive right through it, at full speed. To those of you who enjoy squashing these carcasses to a mere pulp, I hope karma gets you and that’ll you be left with a dead carcass stench, with half the animals organs stuck in between your engine and tyres.
Nothing beats the smell of dead animal with your cup of coffee in the morning!
Sadly, we humans do not treat dead animals the same way we do other humans. If there’s a big car accident and dead bodies on the side of the road, we’ll be damn sure to reduce our speed to 10km per hour to get a good visual, or we’ll stop our car and help. But with an animal, we’ll just leave it there to paint the road red.
If any Jo’burger has any heart, won’t you please get out of the car and remove the dead carcass? Or better yet, take it to a taxidermist and have yourself a wonderful decorative piece made for your wall. Maybe Jo’burg drivers are just too busy to get to destination B? What if that was your neighbour Billy Bob’s cat? Surely he’d want to bury the poor thing?
As an animal lover, it is a saddening to see all these animals being reduced to nothing – literally. I know we city lovers are always rushing from here to there, but drive slowly. If you’re late for a meeting and get fired, at least you saved a poor rabbit. Karma will repay you. Have two morning coffees so you’re that much more alert. Honk your horn or flash your lights if you see an animal – give your car horn another purpose instead of only honking at taxis.
Know the number of your local animal control department or animal rescue organisation so that you can phone them if having spotted an animal. And don’t tell me you don’t speak on your phone in the car! Carry a spade or shovel in your car, so in the case you see half of a dog you can remove it.
You never know, the shovel could help you hit a potential hijacker, since these seem to be a common sighting.
As a Jo’burg driver I pledge to make animal carcasses my friend. I pledge to assist in the removal of them and help my other fellow motorists to have a safer trip home (not that Jo’burg drivers care much about each other – on these roads, it’s every man for themselves!) Stacey, in her little Kia Picanto, will help make road kill a road problem of the past - us Jo’burg drivers have enough to deal with at the moment.
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