It was Saturday afternoon and Nike, the Greek goddess of victory was finding herself in a predicament. It was rugby time and the Springbok team had just asked for her support in securing them victory against the Argentines. Although the official prayer was along the lines of ”dear god, help us do our best”, there were those players that secretly prayed, “ god, please give us victory”. The real problem was that the same request was coming through in great earnest from the Argentinean resting room. The goddess was going to have her hands full making decisions that could seriously depress a nation but she was yet to decide on her favorite team.
Floating down in a state of confusion comes the God Hermes, the protector of sport and athletics, also the bringer of good luck. He was minding his own business on a Saturday afternoon when suddenly he was summonsed to bring good luck and ensure protection of the Springbok team. Moments later the same request came through from the Argentinean rest room. “I am afraid I cannot allow you victory today Nike”, Hermes informs the woman, “I have been asked to ensure protection against injury and bring good luck to both teams so whatever your decision, I am going to have to veto it. You might have to settle for a draw.”
In walks Astraea, the virgin goddess of justice and fairness and announces“ I have just been summoned by the referee to insure a just and fair game. Whatever you two are up to , forget it. It has to be just and fair!
Another day another game. In the post match interview the prop announces. “I just want to thank king jesus for being with us today”. Ten meters away the losing captain tightens his jaw and thinks..” its time we get a full time professional religious man to put our case forward. The losing captains speech mentions a couple of bad luck decisions that went against his team. Astraea, the goddess of justice and fairness and the Ausie referee is not impressed by the captains speech..
Up in heaven Nike the winged goddess of victory sits upright and reminds Hermes that ‘good luck” is not exclusive to any team. Back in the restroom the casualty list grows. One injured player out for 8 weeks and two maybes.
Up at the pearly gates Astraea, the goddess of justice and fairness confronts Hermes, the protector and bringer of good luck…”look at all the bloody injuries! You were supposed to protect them, they asked you in good faith”. It wasn’t his choice, Nike says, I was asked for a victory and let me remind you that not even a draw comes without injury. I am the senior god around here. Injuries are a small price to pay for both sides being equally victorious.” Do you think it is easy taking sides. I had to get all the “sin” records of all the players for the last week and if it wasn’t for the blasphemous behavior of you know who at that nightclub last week the decision could have gone the other way and let me remind you that some prayers come more from the heart than others”.
Lets remove the Gods above and replace them with the singular God. Let’s call it the Christian god. What would help a lot is if we could decide which god of the 33 000 Christian denominations we are going to choose . Some of the player’s will not be happy to pray to the old NG god, they have moved on to charismatic groups with a living god. Then there is the dilemma of the Muslim players waiting in the shadows to make an entree into the national team. Excuse me Mr. Muslim, would you wait outside, over there with Mr Stransky while we ask our…ehh…my god to bless and protect us and if it is his will, to give us victory. East is that way! We have to put some heart into it as the opposition has a bishop and they have being holding mass for the last hour!
Perhaps it will be appropriate for the religious losing captain to proclaim in the post match interviews that victory and protection against injury wasn’t gods will and that god was obviously in favor of the opposing team. Not only did we lose but we have 3 injured and one in hospital! I mean let’s call a spade a spade.
What will get all the theists on their feet is if the man of the match turns out to be an Atheist and announces to the rugby world that being a great sportsman has nothing to do with a non existing sky daddy. All the kids should take note that it is up to oneself to achieve, god has nothing to do with it as there is no god.
Seriously, lets linger and think about such a statement for a while.
The country will be in uproar. The atheist player will be alienated . He will disappear to the bench and then out he goes. But week after week we have to listen to rugby Christians stuffing their religious drivel via TV interviews down the throats of our youth. Tell us how it feels to be man of the match Jack….”agghh, I just want to thank God…bla.bla.bla….he proceeds to hijack a sports event for his testimony.
If I or anybody for that matter want to listen to a sermon we can go to religious TV channels. I don’t support rugby in order to witness some Christians relationship to his sky daddy. Religion should be banned in total from all national team events. As offensive as Christians would find an atheist statement as offensive we atheists find religious statements especially when they think it is their right to ambush and hijack a non suspecting crowd.
Be warned rugby players. You cannot sin during the week and then expect god to bring us as a nation victory on a weekend. As you can see from the above the choices are complicated.
Mend your sinful ways, we need a win!
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