While I’m writing this, I know I’m going to offend people, so let me apologise in advance.
What is the problem with the Afrikaans music industry?! It seems every single person, with a dream and a guitar can become an Afrikaans singer these days(no talent needed what so ever). The only requirement is that you put some tacky hi-lites in your Justin Bieber wannabe hair (FIY – that’s not a good thing) and wear a funky looking jacket and jeans. You can also just dumb down, and give yourself a ridiculous nickname, like Witbank Flooze or Dowwe Dolla and WHAM, you’re it.
Have you listened to the Lyrics of some of these songs? They don’t have to make any sense at all, just as long as they rhyme! Really, what’s the connection between “drie pikkewyne” and women? Don’t get met started on “Baby Tjoklits” (an example of horrible Anglicism so they’re not even doing the Afrikaans language justice), or Kaptein. You may ask why I know these songs if I’m so disgusted by them, well I grew up on a farm and my father is a die hard langarm, Afrikaans singing, sakkie sakkie doing, konsertina pulling, meel op die vloer dancing fan! The funny thing is, he hates modern English music, but will listen to these Afirkaans artist who pop up like weeds. I ducked when I wrote this, thinking my father is standing behind me, taking a swing for writing this.
Luckily he also has a little bit of taste (jammer pa!) and as a child I was exposed to Elvis, CCR, The Hollies, Percy Sledge, Queen etc. I still listen to them today. The songs have meaning, they are so well composed and you don’t grow tired of them. I like some modern music as well (maybe not so modern, Offspring and Bon Jovi are not actually “current”), but boybands are on the same level as some Afrikaans artists. If I could choose who to drive over while playing GTA or who another enemy in Warcraft, I would pick boybands!
Let’s not be too dramatic and place ALL Afrikaans singers in the same category. There are individuals (ever so few), who are very talented and they don’t need some tacky publicity stunt to promote their music. The music speaks for itself. I’m not opposed to Theuns Jordaan and Die Heuwels fantasies and Nianell isn’t atrocious. If you like Afrikaans music, that’s your prerogative, but it angers me that common is the “new cool”. Jack Parrow and Die Antwoord are examples of people going to extremes (trying a very unsuccessful Lady Gagy maneuver) and ending up making Afrikaans people look like beer chugging, stained shirt wearing idiots. Using the “p” word in every sentence does not make you an artist fighting for individuality and the right to freedom of speech. It reflects the fact that you lack the proper repertoire of words, so you cuss. There are also bad English singers, there’s no doubt, but my point is that not only are some of these Afrikaans singers talentless, but the lyrics to the songs, and the image they create are ridiculous.
Why do we need to act like idiots, or brainless “floozies”? Even worse, why do we support and become fans of these people?
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