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Satirical Response to: Investigating Athiesm

28 August 2013, 12:24

A few days ago (or weeks, not sure of this due to lack of moral compass provided by God) one of our literary geniuses and much loved theists (whom also has a degree in Rocket Science) posed some of the most challenging questions to atheism.

The following responses took place on February the 31st of 2013 at the New York City High court. (There is of course no such date due to atheists being pathological liars influenced by Satan)

(Cue in Law and Order™ Gavel bashing theme)

1)      Where do you come from?

In the year 1990 of our Lord, a heathen was born on foot hills of the Mountain of Mordor in the Gauteng suburb of Randberg. Here two evil sorceresses known as Mother and Father mixed Sugar, Spice and everything nice in order to create the Powerpuff Girls. Unfortunately they forgot to add the bible and so forth the man-child who poses as an Italian fox was born.

2)      What is your Purpose on earth?

To collude with the Evil Atheist Conspiracy that will take over the world and to support the anti-Christ in his endeavours.

3)      Does Life have meaning?

Since atheists enjoy eating aborted babies, this leads one to suspect that not one single atheist believes that any life is valuable and thus leads one to suspect further that no, life has little or no meaning.

4)      What is just and fair for you?

The destruction of all that disagree with my heretical views (a view borrowed heavily from the Crusades. This is a clear sign that not only are atheists evil, but they have little appreciation for copy right infringement)

5)      God forbids, if your child is murdered and the person is never caught and brought to justice, how would you handle it, seeing that life has no meaning and we are just here on earht to live and die. Where would you get justice from?

This question is irrelevant since atheists murder their own children in sacrificial rituals to Satan.

6)      An intelligent, thinking child brought up by atheist parents becomes a Christian how do you respond? Oh and becomes preacher and starts a new church, would you say your child has a problem?

This question is irrelevant since all children born to atheists are sacrificed before the age of three. (This is stipulated in the atheist guide book authored by the late Christopher Hitchens who was personally assassinated by Jesus)

7)      What about all the injustice in the world that goes by unreported, where must everyone else get justice from?

This is a trick question since all injustices are committed solely by atheists whom torment the peace loving religious with their dogmatic spew and witch hunts.

8)      How do you answer your own child that is searching for meaning and purpose in life?

Before or after I eat him/her/it (if it’s an atheist)?

9)      Why does research, discovery, diplomacy, art, music, sacrifice, compassion, feelings of love, or affectionate and caring relationships mean anything if it all ultimately comes to naught anyway?

Research™, discovery™ and diplomacy™ are vile words derived from Atheism™ which seeks to confuse the true believer with Worldly untruths that hurts God™. (See how this atheist pond scum eludes from the question? Once again, copy right infringement™!!)

10)   Is death the end of life?

This question is phrased incorrectly and should rather be “Is death the end?” since I’m under oath I will answer the question stated.

Yes, death is most widely regarded by pretty much everyone as the end of one’s life.

Closing shout outs. I’d like to thank my evil sorceress mother for supporting me in answering these questions, mom you’re the best!! I’d like to thank my Director for giving me the opportunity of working with such a diverse team of The Law and Order™ set. Seriously, you guys are great! And lastly I’d like to thank God, not only for, you know, minding the fence and protecting us from the devil (I suppose I’d like to thank the devil too, cause you know, if it weren’t for him, God would probably blow his brains out from boredom™) but also for making me and Atheist (OMG seriously!!? More copy right infringement?)

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