Revolutionary greetings to you, during these exciting times, comrades, fellow travellers and supporters of the glorious and omnipotent African National Congress and its only true and fearless Leader the Beloved Jacob Zuma!
Yes, we have been authorized to release the details of the so called ‘second transition’ that is nearing full implementation even as this wonderful news is being disseminated by the relevant state organs such as the Ministry of Access to Information. As many of you well informed cadres already know, our struggle for majority rule and absolute control over all aspects of South African society required some compromises with our enemy. We are now able to reveal the Nelson Mandela was, in fact, an agent in the employ of the National Party and that the leadership of our movement was well aware of this when he signed off on CODESA, knowing that it was a required stepping stone on the path to greater glory for our revolutionary movement. Nelson Mandela was not leading the charge of the revolution; he was merely running away from the true struggle heroes and buying time for his allies, the National Party. Clearly he had been led astray by other counter-revolutionaries promised trifling awards like the Nobel Peace prize for their betrayal. Although the details of these faceless cowards that assisted Mandela are not known at present, please be aware that the investigation is continuing and that more names will be released at the appropriate times, such as by-elections and preceding major party conferences.
It is interesting to note that Julius Malema, once tellingly referred to as ‘just like Madiba’ has been expelled for his own counter-revolutionary activities. The Malema clique dared to undermine the revolution by exemplifying the derogatory stereotype so often used by our enemies to demean the brave freedom fighters of our movement and struggle. That he was allowed to continue for so long was in no way indicative of tolerance by the leadership, or indeed the cunning nature of our enemies who nightly plot our demise in smoke-filled rooms, rather it was to draw the greatest number of his supporters into the light so that they could be revealed and liquefied when lulled into a false sense of security by our visionary Leaders’ tactics. This has been achieved with a massive purging of those agents hell-bent on following their traitorous collection of rogues to their most unfortunate end.
A picture, provided at the bottom of this article clearly shows Dear Jacob Zuma as the face and spirit of the revolution on Robben Island, with many of his wives working in the limestone mines in the background. Surely no true comrade with any sense of decency would deny them their luxury motor vehicles and refurbished homes after witnessing the horrors they suffered at the hands of the brutal minority-ruled-capitalist-apartheid state. There is no trace of Mandela, Sisulu, Slovo or Mbeki anywhere to be found. Pay no attention to spurious claims of ‘photo-shopping’ and be sure to report those individuals that suggest it, especially the elderly, to any available official of the Ministry of Maintaining the Good Image of The Leadership.
But we digress. Having explained the necessity of CODESA and the short, albeit odious tolerance of the international capital puppet regime, ironically called the ‘Government of National Unity’, the party has, since 1996, actively been engaged in achieving our ultimate ends. Firstly we bought off many individuals belonging to the former oppressor class by making them offers that no capitalist swine could refuse; large packets of money. These fools actually accepted our offer without realizing that we fully intended to take it back in the form of a myriad of tax schemes including capital gains, universal healthcare, sales tax, sin tax, reparations, and so on. Ha! I apologize for the loss of control of my emotion, comrades, but brilliance of this ploy and the cadres who thought of it still gives me goose bumps.
With the civil service meeting our transformation schemes, we set about attacking the remaining pillars of privilege; electricity, fresh water supply, education, adequate housing, personal security; all the things that distinguish one person from the other. It was surprising that no one noticed that we destroyed all of the very things we were promising. The more education failed, the easier it has become to play upon the population’s disconnection from history and reality, and sweep them up with cleverly designed rhetoric. Our Dear Leader’s election in 2008 was a watershed moment that proved, beyond all doubt, that our education policy up to that point had been working beyond even the most generous estimates. Now that the first set of learners to be educated totally under our influence from cradle to matriculation is emerging utterly unemployable and disillusioned with the capitalist system, it is our time to act without delay!
The second transition is no mystery to those loyal party members who have always understood the core tenets of our movement. The first transition was about establishing partial control of all elements of society, with a distinct focus on service delivery and education. As our great revolutionary idol, Kim Il-sung once said ‘it’s better to have a population that is not too well looked after – they are much easier to control’. Thus the second transition will be about establishing total control. We have seen some party officials jumping the gun, so to speak, clearly unable to contain their feelings of pride and excitement. They have claimed that the second transition is already underway. Reforming the judiciary and bringing the media under tighter state controls has indeed been part of the ultimate goal even since 1912. In this centenary year we will move forward to reclaim the land and nationalize all mineral wealth.
The completion of the revolution is at hand, comrades! Be thankful that those of you reading this will live to see the workers’ paradise in South Africa that we have so long fought and sacrificed for. We suggest that as a show of loyalty to the party you spontaneously organize mass celebrations in your communities. Remember to request any materials you may require to convince those unwilling to comply with this suggestion from the party office in your area.