It seems, at least to me, that we as South African‘s have taken up a new sport, SEX. The more out there and public sex is, the better. Society seems to have become sex crazy and the ages of sexually active children are just getting lower and lower. Rape statistics are rampaging towards worldwide high’s and rape and gang rape is becoming news so frequently that we are becoming desensitised to its raw, intrusive, violent and life destroying trauma.
With the average sexual partners per person nearly tripling in the last 20 odd years and with both men and woman aggressively hunting for a nights action in public places one cannot be blamed for thinking that sex is fast becoming our main motivator for living and for some even more important than the weekends sport. So one has to ask, is sex a sport?
Sex, to me, is in effect a two person event and if I am forced to compare it to a sport it will be a private game of tennis. Like tennis one partner can be as willing and able as he/she wants to be but at the end of the day you need a willing participant to have a truly meaningful game. Ask any married couple. Like tennis one can also practice by oneself. Let’s face facts, not the same thing. However, it seems as if these days sex can be more and more compared to a spectator sport or a game musical chairs. It is even fast becoming an extremely competitive sport.
It is not uncommon to after a session whip out the blackberry and publicize a scorecard or rating of the event. It also seems quite important these days to have good and stable performances regularly. As good performers are referred to friends and family like cards in a game of go fish.
As with all spectator sports we are also seeing an increase in substance use and abuse. Rugby players use steroids to build muscle, whilst a 23 year old viral man now runs to the chemist for Viagra on a Friday afternoon. Also in spectator sports we see constant development in the quality and variety of support apparatus. When I played rugby a flora tub filled with sand was what a kicker used, these days they use a ergonomically designed rubbery cuplike thingy. Same is in the world of sex, I had the jaw dropping experience to hear a young lady boast about her “tools”. Wow, my father in law has less tools in his woodworking workshop! Must be a massive proverbial shoe box and even all with name and clear purpose. OK, so maybe I am losing the plot a bit, at least spectator sports like rugby is played in front of a crowd and on TV, surely sex is not that public yet. I quickly glanced over a statistic that one in every 15 woman has had themselves videotaped and both her and the x are still in possession of this tape. We also see more and more sex tapes going viral and celebrities like Paris Hilton being catapulted to fame because of this. It seems fame and fortune is easier to obtain via a sex tape than being an aspiring rugby star.
Clearly the only items missing from this new spectator sport is online betting, match fixing and a league to argue wages for the players. Oo, did the ANC Woman’s league not just ask for prostitution to be legalised. Clearly a long term strategy there.
I have to sit down and ask myself. Am I now starting to become a minority? Are my thoughts on sex and sexual behaviour now suddenly relegated to “old school” thinking? Must I now accept that I am an old man, with old outdated values? Worse, am I now a bigot? Before I open this door to criticism I want to bring a singular opinion to the forefront.
With the average age of sexual activity reducing to as little as 14 years, with sexual partners being traded like soccer stars in the off season, with the added pressure of public scoring and optimal performance and with all the cold tools available, have we not lost the true value and humanity of sex. Have we not in effect shut down the emotion and tenderness of it. Are we not actually destroying the true and awesome value of sex, ourselves. Have we lost intimacy in our lives?
With stories of young girls being gang raped, whilst young boys act in jest and with little to no regard for the poor girl. With many people asking for a link to this sick and perverted video. With normal rape ,the insult of a name bantered around for this soul destroying and violent act, increasing so dramatically one has to wonder if the intimacy of our society has been robbed from us. With the robbers being ourselves.Let’s make sex the intimate part of our lives that it should be, lets teach our children what it is really about and maybe we as a society can get our intimacy and with that our empathy back.