A Chinese man who lived in Bosmont, Johannesburg, said to me in 1971 that he has a potato "sak" bag hung up in his back garden called "sagmoedig" in which if any of his three sons ever overstep the mark laid out to them,then they'll get tossed into that bag and whipped with his "sambok" called Julius Caesar to teach them a lesson.
I never saw what this bag looked like to begin with,neither did I ever witness how he went about disciplining his children that way either fortunately. If one could call such acts by a parent discipline,is that what is required to earn your child's respect,even if such discipline is given inside bags of "mildness"?
Where do you and I draw the line of what constitutes proper and adequate discipline towards your children? Should a child even be disciplined to begin with. Should parents mould their children so that they do become that which makes the parents proud and the child don't ever become a troublesome individual when fully grown? Most child-rearing experts on the subject agree on one thing and that is that a child has to be taught somehow. Now how ever which way you see that in your own humble opinion might differ greatly from one person to the next.
When is the most productive time to teach youngsters anyway? Apparently it's during the formative years,before any of them set foot in any of our schools. Whether it be a public or private school. Why start so early? Because children are very observant during this time period which means you can mould a child of what's appropriate behaviour and conduct and what is not,develop their social skills that they might be needing in say sports for example,how any of their actions causes reactions and affects other people,that cursing is a terrible thing and really a lazy person's way of not wanting to use proper language,etc.
All of which still keeps the child's self-esteem intact and developing their self-discipline. Catering to a child's every need is considered ineffectual and should never happen,yet some parents don't know the difference between spoiling a demanding child and tutoring them self control. If a parent were to allow sentimentality to govern when making decisions,rather then principle,then they're losing their grip of control on a child.
You'll end up with "the Simpson Family" type situation of the early 1990's where you have Bart Simpson type kids, who back then in the 90's, were called the "smarter kids" generation- smarter than his parent or Homer Simpson that is.
Parents that command respect don't fear for a situation to become like that ever. But you'll have to put in the hard yards as a parent and don't "cry foul play" when things don't work out as you'd imagined it should be.
It can be a mixed bag of course,keeping discipline consistent, that is. It's made harder for a child when they don't know what's coming from a parent. If a child has to always guess as to what to expect next from a parent, then there is a serious lack of consistency by such a parent administering the discipline.
Scolding children are so seventies and eighties so a parent needs to be smarter than that towards their child. What works for you under your roof might not work somewhere else as each situation is unique. The train of thought should be to give children under your care the level of service and attention needed to succeed in life when they themselves become adults.
Not for them to behave as free spirits as if to say obligations and requirements will deprive them of their childhood because it won't. Failure to discipline a child will be disastrous for that child,because that child who gets no discipline whilst growing up finds it exceedingly difficult to self-discipline themselves later in life.
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