PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Inspired Parenting
 
Comments: 0
Article views: 651
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all Inspired Parenting's badges.
 

Sibling rivalry

05 June 2014, 10:17

Your children are constantly at each other’s throats and all your attempts to discipline them have failed. Despondent and drained you feel as if your offspring will never get along and are destined to be at odds for life.

People advise you to let your children sort out their own differences, yet research shows that the amount of sibling rivalry in a family is determined by how well the parents manage the children. Murphy discovered that parents who respect children’s needs and feelings can develop positive sibling interaction and reduce sibling rivalry.

Children are not born with an instruction manual on how to get along with others, and be considerate of their needs. They need to be taught by you, their parents how to socialise.  The first social interaction your child has is with his siblings, and so teaching him polite, compassionate ways of interacting with his brothers and sisters will empower him for life.  A study by Cambridge University into sibling rivalry shows that “the quality, as well as the quantity of conversations adults have with their children concerning thoughts and feelings, helps children’s social understanding to grow.”

Beginning with toddlers your role as a parent is like that of a conductor of an orchestra. You need to be watching your children constantly guiding and showing them appropriate ways of interacting.They will copy your way of dealing with people, so if you are polite and gentle they will most likely be the same.

Once children have learned to be empathetic and express their feelings appropriately, it will not be necessary to always be involved when your children have a dispute. Hopefully, they will have learnt from you to resolve disagreements without hurting their siblings, but if the disagreement does escalate and they are unable to resolve it in a peaceful way, you will intervene by way of teaching conflict resolution.

Set up three chairs. The children and you sit down, and the first child has a chance to express his concerns. The second child then reflects back what his brother or sister said. The second child then expresses her concerns and the first child reflects back what his sister said. You then ask them to devise a plan that will meet both their needs, and guide them into developing that plan. You do not take sides, criticise, or give your opinion but merely mediate a resolution.      

To lessen the amount of sibling rivalry in the home it is necessary for parents to teach children that the family is like a sports team which works together, supporting and encouraging each other. If each member of a team is competing against each other the team will not be very happy or successful. If parents are competitive and value competition amongst their children it will add to the amount of sibling rivalry in the home.

Parents should focus on giving each child one on one time by organising dates, and avoid comparing siblings. Rather identify each child’s talents and strengths and encourage children to develop their own talents and support those of their siblings. Research by Brody and Stoneman suggests that “equal, but not necessarily identical, treatment of all siblings is key to successfully managing sibling rivalry.”  

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them,” advises Ralph Nichols. Teaching your children to argue and resolve problems in a peaceful way is one of the greatest gifts you can give them, so do not fear sibling rivalry but rather use it as an opportunity to demonstrate good negotiation skills.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
0 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
CharlesSzente
How to create long term wealth fo...

I believe, in the real world, life actually follows reasonable principles. Despite the baffle and Bull, the short term push and pull, even exploitation, eventually the multitude of forces kicks you back to reality. For us that simply means, if as a country we want to grow, we have to invest.  Read more...

1 comments 75 views
Submitted by
Gail Shorkend
The world

How the world has changed. It used to be a peaceful world. You had stress. But the stress is not like these days. Read more...

2 comments 22 views
Submitted by
Linamandla Mpolase
Letter to the Capitalist God

I constantly ask myself what is the point of everything? A complex question and awfully deep but I know it is a question not unique to me. Possibly many of you have had similar thoughts. But really what is the point of it all? Read more...

15 comments 336 views
Submitted by
Dewald Esterhuizen
Humanity a rarity

I am reading so much upon this lion being killed and I see the outrage in America and the extreme extend to which they go to persecute this dentist. Read more...

21 comments 824 views
Submitted by
Jenny Reid
Identity Crisis! What to do when ...

While these people must deal with the inconvenience of applying for new passports, there’s a far more sinister issue at play. Read more...

0 comments 294 views
Submitted by
Ann Muigai
Focus on what truly matters

“Never” is an infectious word, like a flu virus. Once you’ve caught it, everything loses its sparkle. It’s commonplace to hear people say and swear that they will never do, forget or say something. Read more...

2 comments 179 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.