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Silly Nonsense!

03 February 2013, 14:48

I have been accused, Compassionate Sidekicks, of writing nothing but “so much silly nonsense.”  My accusers are no doubt agents of the self-same nefarious global power that author and philosopher Terrence Mckenna accused of wanting “to turn the entire planet into an international airport arrival concourse.” These Agents of Seriousness lurk in the darkest recesses of the internet, their faces peeling from their skulls from self-induced Syphilis.  What’s that you say, Knowledgeable Medical Understudy? You can’t give yourself Syphilis? I thought so too, my dear friend, but alas, the Committee for the Abandonment of Satirical Humour has proved modern medicine entirely incorrect on the issue.

For those messengers of Xerxes the Persian Party-Pooper who are want to say, “This is drivel! This is silliness!” I say, while drawing my sword from its scabbard that hangs around my computer generated abs that glisten ever so slightly from liberally applied baby oil, “Silliness? This is not silliness! This is MADNESS!” And then with a heroic stomp kick to the chest, I shove said humorless messenger into the great vacuous pit of I-Don’t-Give-a-Flying Phalanx!

Because indeed, it is not silliness. It is madness and I am quite convinced that this is the very substance of which the entire Universe is composed. Madness. Chaos. Anarchy. Take for example the following headlines from today’s News24 page:

Cardinal: I wasn’t taught about sex abuse

Top TV porn plan elicits record response

Petrol to go up by 41c/l

Rape accused cops off the hook

Nigerian lawmaker in $3m bribe scam

Two Rhino killed a day since New Year

Does this not prove that our country, if not the entire world and known universe is completely off-their-pip mad? Are these not all silly? Are they not all mad? Yes indeed! They’re completely mad. We’re all mad here, Alice, and the sooner you get used to this fact the better, because once you’ve done this, you might be better qualified to delve into your own brand of madness just a little bit, or potentially give into it completely.

This may be very daunting to the uninitiated. “I’m not mad, I’m entirely sane! And always very very sensible!” you might say. There there, Logical-Minded Compadre, I realize this must come as a complete shock to you to be told that you are not nearly as compos mentis as you originally believed yourself to be. Fear not, because with the guiding light of humour and satire, irony and wit, you may find yourself better equipped to deal with this devastating situation.

So my message, fellow Anarchic Explorers, is do not give into devastation or despair at the seemingly hopeless situation in which our world has found itself, instead, be brave, be light-hearted and explore the possibilities that insanity may bring.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

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