As I was driving out my local shopping mall, I was shaken when a young man in a vehicle came at me, speeding! This was no accident but rather a bunch of hooligans who wanted to get pleasure from my frightened reaction.
I could not believe what was happening and the fact that these boys where laughing hurt me even more. Other motorists saw this as they drove away. For a moment I could not move, I froze. After what seemed like an eternity, and various thoughts going through my mind, such as how my 1 and half year old would have been left without a mother at such a tender age. My husband would be left without a wife after only a few years of companionship! I decided to drive and find that car so that i could ask the young men what possessed them to do what they had just done!
Unfortunately, by the time I found the car, they had disappeared. Various thoughts rushed through my head, from damaging the car, to leaving a nasty note in the windshield. Alas my sanity prevailed. I drove away very shaken.
This situation brought various memories I would rather forget. Memories came flooding back like an overfilled dam, with so much pressure and intensity. I remember being spat at in high school because of my skin colour! I will not go on further with more detail.
My point is that more often than not, I am still subjected to situations like this one. On one hand, i am very aware that, individual behaviour does not represent a race, culture or gender. Maybe to some extend I do have post traumatic disorder because situations like these really make me regress back to thinking like a racist: I dislike white people. My primitive instincts kick in I guess. Only after thorough thought and time out do my faculties kick in and realise that he is just a bully who has issues with himself!
For those who constantly claim and declare the fact that it has been 18 years, time to move on: I am sorry to say that it is not the easiest of things to do when you are constantly reminded of hurtful things. Maybe I (we) are not strong enough but as long as I experience that which demeans me, I WILL NOT FORGET AND MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!
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