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So much aggression

09 November 2012, 10:00
So, this morning at 06:00 I left from my girlfriends flat in Arcadia in Pretoria, and made my way to Johannesburg for work.

400m down the road I saw two guys busy trying to kill one another right next to a taxi with a small crowd standing around watching the event. They were in a weird grip punching each others heads, and proceeded to pick up a massive rock that i assume was going to be plastered into the other ones head. I missed this because i was driving.

31 seconds later, as I wanted to turn into a garage to buy myself a coffee for the road and reflect on the situation, some guy sitting on my ass with his chor comes speeding past me throwing signs at me implying that I now upset him. I have no clue why... My indicator was on, I did not skip any lanes, I slowly drove into the garage slipway, but this, for some reason, pissed him off...

Then I got onto the N1. Surprisingly this stretch was without to many hassles, but this is rare. However, when I got to work in fourways I parked my car, and walked over the road. Every single morning I walk over the same single lane road. In the 4 weeks that I have been working here, one person has stopped for me, only one. The rest have not even yielded for me once. There is a pedestrian crossing which I use every morning, but not once has anyone even indicted that they see me, the just seem to increase their speed. This morning again some guy in his big 4x4 just starts accelirating down at me for walking for crossing the road, almost as to say "Hey oak, whis are a road for cars, nor for peoples. I are superior!!. If im here, you come second", so i looked at him as he drove off and shook my head, not really in anger, but in disappointment, wondering whats going on with everyone? The next moment he stops, and now he want so MOER me. Why? Because he almost drove over me, and i got upset, now he wants to moer me?... I'm confused. I was not phased and continued walking, and it was at that moment his small brain sent a synapses and he fought to himself, "hey, i are going to be late, so skrew vat oak!!" And by the way, all the Cape Townians out there with your superiority complexes, please don't think its different down where you are. I lived in CT for 4 years and I LOVE the place, but there I saw a guy stabbing another one to death in front of me in the city centre, and I once saw a guy getting out of a car to
"bliksem" some girl for doing something wrong again.

I went traveling for three months at the beginning of the year through India, Vietnam, Cambodia, and Thailand. Only a few decades ago in Cambodia, the dictator of the time killed 1/3rd of all the people in his country within a year due to his extremist communist views. In the 60s Vietnamese civilians were poisoned by the Americans with an toxin called agent orange, one of the most toxic substances known to man. They live with the consequences till today. In india the filth and the poverty is incomprehendable.

However, I never felt unsafe, and never sensed aggression. As soon as I got back to my country of birth, within the first 5 minutes on the N1 I started getting anxious and irritable already due to all the blatent agression. Immediately stories are being told of someone being killed, or someone being robbed, or raped, or the new security systems people installed, or the lack of education, or the corrupt officials and and and...

South Africa... I always believed i would stay proud of my country for always. I am now 29, and I really struggle to stay positive. Sure I love my culture, sure I love our diversity and sure i love my heritage. But South Africa?

I'm very sad to admit that I'm tired. Tired...

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