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Karabo Maila
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Social Ills Manifest!

27 February 2013, 13:03

Whenever you actually click on here to read what I’ve penned down, its appreciated. I actually hope you read it with reservation and not persuasions unless you fully see eye to eye with me. This is another one of those times that I want you to read this, take it in with a pinch of salt.

I probably will not offer a varying opinion to rape in that it is sick and must be dealt with in a definitive manner. The whole country has tried to address it. “Tried” because it continues to just be illuminated yet not many effective efforts prove fruitful to the eye. In fact I have heard so many explanations to this sickly phenomena I’m starting to think these views might just not be a true reflection of how Rape is manifested by how socialized we are from a young age. Is there anyone of these grownups who is willing to just admit that parents are breeding these rapists in their homes and protecting them?

Some of these rapists, if not an overwhelming majority, are people we know, people we spend the better most part of our life with. I don’t believe they just snap and say; “Hey! There’s a female, let me strip her of all humanly rights!”

Its people who’ve studied you as a woman, know your patterns, know how you react to predicament and know your support system, they’ve possibly made that their support centre as well. The shock is often crippling to a parent, I can imagine. But as a parent how do you begin to address both situations?

The situation of the known offender,”Malome” or “Papa”. Socio-economic factors come into play. You know this man very well, so well that he buys you food to eat at night; he buys the bread in the house and whatever essentials you need to sustain yourself. He helps you survive on a day-to-day basis, where you are faced with the reality of poverty, unemployment and a lack of education. He is the provider.

Let me tell you where it started with this particular man of your life. Chances are he saw it being done around the home when he was growing up or he was victimised as a child.

I have a problem with the way we seem to protect these rapists in our homes and communities, because we do not want the responsibility of dealing with the awkwardness and shame. What is wrong with you if you’re letting something as savage as that happen to a child or loved one, and protect your image by keeping mum about it. What happens to the boy child or girl child affected and those that are witnessing this in the home? To me it seems as though you are saying to them, No.1 its perfectly normal, No.2 it is normal yet too abnormal to talk about to anyone. Thus, breeding the evil in the home, but a time comes when the evil you’ve harvested in your house seeks social acceptance and belonging in the outside world. When you as a “mum” parent lack the skill or initiative to talk about issues in the house it makes it easy for the child to go out in the world and pose dangers to others and come back home to seek refuge, which is given at any cost because that is the type of environment you’ve created. When they realise that it is not morality right to do, they run to the first thing they know will offer comfort, a frame of reference. A place that you designed for them to HIDE in. There in the dark is where everything goes undetected, and all is deemed “ok”

Some of these “dangerous” kids, go on to become police constables, judges, lawyers, teachers, farmers, singers, dancers, yes and even Sports stars! They still have that little naughty boy in them who, once in a while, like Chucky the killer doll, would come out to play. And, playing with such a kid is like going out on a date with a Cobra, you never know when it will strike. A potent venom of self-hate displayed in their cruelty.

This is when they become this sickly demented child with no care for a woman’s feelings or rights. YOU the parent never taught him that and he strikes at will. He strikes hard. But, do you know what the scariest part is? The child has an adult mind now; they can manipulate and ponder upon thought and thought, and thought. They can contemplate their next move and they are thrilled each time the visit this unsavory thought! They build expectation and anticipation. It has now become a psychological fault.

Yes, he or she is now stronger. They rape, and what do we as a larger society? We still sweep under the carpet. The child affected is lead to believe they brought it upon themselves, they believe it is normal but abnormal to talk about. The child believes it is acceptable.

The Crimes are becoming more and more brutal, scenes that resemble a Hollywood thriller. Habits harbored. I think as parents we need to monitor our influence on our children. When my parents thought I didn’t know about certain matters, trust me. I knew. When my parents thought it was okay to display “adult” acts in front of me because I didn’t understand, I knew exactly what they were doing and why. When a problem had suddenly hit us and my parents thought I could not decode the problem and its source, I could. What often passed as normal acts of adulthood to them was decoded differently on my part.

They were mama le papa, my sense of security, my destination of retreat and my world.
I am not saying only parents can curb this problem, the government also comes into play, celebrities come into play and everyday people who walk the street do. It’s a fight for all to take part in.

What is your attitude as a parent?

It breaks my heart and fills me with furry, that we are a nation that does not have problem solving skills. We label ourselves “traditional” in every aspect, but look around you, what do you see that is traditional? If you are traditional why aren’t you hunting for your meat?

Can YOU wake up!!!

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