PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Lucyfire
 
Comments: 8
Article views: 588
 
 
Latest Badges:


 
View all Lucyfire's badges.
 

Speak out about abuse! Or not

15 May 2014, 21:00

Speak out about abuse!

Don't keep quiet about abuse!

And so forth and so forth.

You hear it all the time.

So, in August last year, my ex broke my nose and dragged me by my hair down the street. I decided enough was enough and laid a charge of assault against him.

But here's what they don't tell you. The law doesn't protect you.  The abuser almost always (and I was told this by the court official) goes and opens cases against you.

My particular ex has me arrested 3 times for everything from child abuse to assault on him! He even had a medical report.

I went to my employer and I was honest with them from the start. I couldn't go to work with a blue eye and broken nose.

Thereafter when I was arrested, I was honest with them and the social worker that was appointed to the case even told them that this is "standard retaliation" that happens when a woman finally stands up to her abuser.

To make a long story short, eventually it became too much to bear. He phoned the CEO of my company and the embarrassment just got too much and I resigned and left with what little dignity I had left.

My team manager told me she understood completely and wished me luck for the future.

Now almost a year later I sent my CV out. I went for 3 interviews and even got an email from the HR department saying everything went well and that they people liked me.

All that was left to do was get a reference from my previous employers.

Guess what? I got a very bad reference. Not because of my work performance but because "she gets arrested all the time"

Speak out about women abuse.

Why, I am the only breadwinner as my ex refuses to pay maintenance. There are several court orders which he blatantly ignores and nothing happens to him.

If you're an abused woman there's a stigma attached to you. Even though people would not like to admit it. People don't want to deal with the realities of abuse and victim almost always gets blamed or punished in some way.

It would have been better to lie to them, wouldn't it? I should have just put leave in and kept quiet. They wouldn't have had to deal with the drama. I should have handled it on my own and they would never have known. I would be earning more money to provide for my family, if I only I hadn't spoken out about abuse.

Speak out about abuse…. yeah right. 

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
8 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Siphokuhle Dludla
Black people can't be racist.

Reverse Racism does not exist!  Read more...

36 comments 786 views
Submitted by
Toni V Brockhoven
Foie Gras. Torture in a tin.

According to Stop Gavage, the French organisation against foie gras, worldwide 80 million birds are force fed annually – known as gavage – several times daily until slaughter.  Read more...

8 comments 313 views
Submitted by
IanMartin
Frikkie And Plug Join The Army

When Frikkie and Plug were in Matric the SANDF visited their school on a recruitment drive. After listening to the presentation they both decided it would be a good idea to join the army for a year. Read more...

16 comments 4010 views
Submitted by
Chris Khanye
The tyranny of Jacob Zuma leaders...

Why Jacob Zuma is somewhat despised and controversial, it is because he espoused the ‘dangers of leadership’.  Read more...

10 comments 1260 views
Submitted by
archibald
Life after death

The only evidence we do have of what LIFE is, is the testimonies of those who actually left their bodies to have seen the real force that lives inside their body.  Read more...

166 comments 2092 views
Submitted by
PeterTracey
Why I’m no DA fan

This Maimane fellow from the DA was as boring as an 80 year old German padre and does not seem to relate to our country’s history and the struggles of the ordinary person in the street. Read more...

48 comments 3241 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 35% off books

Save up to 35% on the latest page-turners. While stocks last. Shop now!

Good Morning, Mr Mandela by Zelda la Grange

Good Morning, Mr Mandela tells the extraordinary story of how a young woman had her life, beliefs, prejudices and everything she once believed in utterly transformed by the greatest man of her time. Now R221. Pre-order now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.