PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Solarflair
 
Comments: 4
Article views: 507
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Solarflair's badges.
 

State of the nation Address first draft

12 February 2013, 16:00

State of the nation address first draft

Dear citizens, it is with grate pride I Jacob Zumer return to you here in parliament to give you a prospective of were our nation is at, firstly let me begin with the struggle, you didn’t put up much of a fight, at I just merely went around and spend, some of the states moneys upgrading my house, I had a cottage built for all my wife’s and children, and it only cost you 200milion, not bad hay it could have been worse.

 I would also like to report that I got rid of that medal some rat and he has now been left to fall on his sword, on his farm in limpompo that the state will soon own cause I have put SARS on his case and I will make a sure that anyone that crosses me will get Liquidated ( it is just a pity we gave him those government contracts in the first case , I am sure the my umpagumptas could have made better use of it)

Last year saw me not only take care of him , but I also got the police to soot out the rebellion, that was happening in the north west , Let this be a warning to you, we do not let you ask for more money to live on ,we have to take our shear first!!!!

As you know I was re elected the president of the C.a.n.c.E.R  I bet you didn’t see that coming , well neither was the guy running against me, hehehe I have always considered him a lame duck, but I felt so sorry for him , I let him I let you pay for a  five million rand vacation, after he lost , just to say no hard feelings hay ,

But anyway this is what you can expect from me, now let me see ,now that I have a new deputy , we will reshuffle, our government ,hopefully after next years election  , but I will let my deputy work closely with my old deputy ,and maybe we can come up with more of the same, if he does not, listen, I will just have to get rid of him like I did before no one can SHAKE  things up like I can. Because this is my last term as well I think it is time to consider some presidential pardons, specially to  some of my friends I have already let out of jail, on terminal illness, shame he will probably die very soon , of natural causes say in a few years time,

Anyway getting back on to the topic, I have found ways to make sure that my expense account stays ( the national current account)   stays in adequate, supply, very soon those road users in  Johannesburg and twane  will not know what hit them , talking about Johannesburg why have not changed that name yet, Anyway with all this spear cash , I think that we could come up with that 200 million for that new plane hehehe , I don’t like the one we have, so I am forced to hire  one that is up to my standard, and may bay I can do another upgrade at the home stead  I need a landing strip, and a terminal building to be put in place , hopefully I will be able to afford my own plane once I retire, at this rate I would say I am almost there, oh yes and then there is the poor, I will have to find a way to keep them in tack cause, we don’t want a uprising like last year, ah I have got it ! I will do what I always do and blame it on apartheid

But don’t you worry and don’t you fear Zumer will make sure  that its business as usual, so smile don’t say anything or draw anything to challenge me I will take you to court for defamation , and make sure you are labeled, either a racist or getting batty in your old age- God Bless you South Africa


(Mac please fax this to my speech writers for editing)

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
4 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Tom Noblinkers252
A better way of life than devotio...

It's estimated that there are more than a 100 billion galaxies in the universe. Each one of these galaxies can contain more than a 100 billion stars. Read more...

17 comments 255 views
Submitted by
Victor
Atheists will never understand Ch...

Among the many “get out of jail cards” Christians’ use in debates with atheists is the one where they say that atheists will never understand Christianity.  Read more...

196 comments 1789 views
Submitted by
Colin Webster452
MWEB Protea player beats Zimbabwe...

We are all aware that Kyle Turnbull is without doubt the best FIFA eSports gamer in South Africa as he has been crowned the SA National Champion twice in as many years. Read more...

2 comments 267 views
Submitted by
Ena Du Plessis
Photo illustrates the need for br...

A storm is raging on the internet, about a photo posted on Instagram a few days ago by Elisha Wilson Beach, wife of American TV actor Michael Beach.  Read more...

9 comments 1798 views
Submitted by
Siebert Mazus
Answer to Lardo Stander on Coelac...

This is an article in response to a question Lardo Stander asked me in a comment made as a result of the article: Evolution- how it works. Read more...

102 comments 970 views
Submitted by
Thendo Afrika
Stand for South Africa

On the 27 of April, let us not celebrate freedom but rather let’s mourn the victims of crime by marching to all centres of government across the country. Read more...

2 comments 73 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.