PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 10
Article views: 622
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

Still on wind turbines…

10 March 2014, 07:24

Every time I hear yet another bunny-hugger extolling the virtues of wind power, I thank the gods that the Bunny-Hugger Party (BHP) will never rule this country. Not that they could possibly do more damage than the current bunch of fools… but I’m just saying.

If you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll tell you a little-known story of a clandestine project which was carried out right here, in this country, under your very nostrils. It was never made public, for oblivious reasons.

Some years ago, the corrupt government decided to build a wind farm, consisting of twenty wind turbines, in the barren and desolate Karoo. (Karoo, from the Khoisan: !ke e /xarra //ke, which means: there are no pee pull living here.)

The pee pull, or mindless masses (MMS’s), as they are also known, stayed away from the Karoo. Their reasons? There was nothing there to steal, and no one to rob, rape, or murder. There was no one there to irritate and annoy with their constant marching, striking, plundering, burning tyres, blocking roads, trashing the streets, and stoning the cops.

But the most important reason was that there were no facilities in the Karoo for recharging the batteries of their stolen cell phones, laptops, iPads, etc.

But that’s not important right now.

To determine who would be given the tender for building the wind farm, the government held an auction. There were four bidders, and as usual, none of them had any previous experience of building anything, let alone a major project of this kind.

“What am I to bid?” asked the auctioneer.

“Five million jobs,” opened a lady with the saddle blanket on her head.

“Six million, real jobs,” bid a madam in a heavily Botoxed demeanor.

“Ten trillion real, genuine, authentic, bona fide jobs,” shouted a fat little joker with a red beret on his empty head. “And free T-shits and berets for all my pee pull!”

“BEE,” bid a shower-headed imposter, on behalf of the government. (No, Sakkie, he said BEE, not BOO!)

“Sold to the shower-headed imposter,” said the corrupt auctioneer, and closed the bidding.

And so, ten million MMS’s were bussed, and taxied, to the wind farm site in the Karoo. On arrival, they were each issued with the usual T-shit, KFC, and pap. First they went on strike for more pay, and then the construction got underway.

The original cost of the project was five million Rand – but with inflation, corruption, and the ever-rising cost of Johnny Blue, the final price tag came to just over R100,000 trillion gazillion.

After many strikes, riots, and clashes with the unions, the twenty wind turbines were finally constructed – years behind schedule. As usual. Each turbine was capable of providing a maximum of *2.5 to 3MW. It was expected that the twenty units would generate at least 50MW.

And then, one windy day, the turbines were switched on. The massive blades started spinning…

The reverberation from the mechanical gearing was similar to that of a thousand idling Harley-Davidson’s. The noise from the blades sounded as if someone was using a million vacuum cleaners on the Karoo’s veldt carpet. The resident sheep, dassies, lizards, and rocks, didn’t seem to mind. (Some low-flying vultures, crows, and birds were, however, chopped to micro-chips.)

But then, just as everyone started cheering, someone took readings on the measuring equipment and realized that the combined output of all twenty turbines, was less than five micro-what!

Big disappointment!

Lucky for them, this was when Oom Koos van Jaarsveld, showed up.

“I see that you kêrels are having some problems here,” he said. “Let me give you some gratis advies, manne. Take down nineteen of your towers, and do the test again.”

So, having nothing to lose, the wekkas disassembled nineteen of the turbine towers and did the test again.

Big surprise! 2.5MW from the remaining turbine!

“Thank you, Oom Koos! Thank you,” they all chorused. “How do you explain this Satanistic phenomenon?”

“Boeties, is you dom? Where did you goes to school?” asked the old man. “Can’t you see there’s not enough wind in the Karoo for twenty windpompe?

“Donners onnosel!” he mumbled, as he climbed in his Toyota bakkie and drove off.

And so, even though the twenty turbines were not built, everyone packed up and went home. But, as it always happens when these Animal Farm projects are not completed, or where the money has been mismanaged (read: stolen), there were no questions asked, and everyone lived happily ever after.

THE END

*2.5 to 3MW – information from SkerP, who wrote that brilliant article: “On wind turbines…,” soon to be made in a major movie.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
10 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Moos Liem
Closed Mosque 101

I thought I would take the opportunity to explain what happens in our Closed Mosques. Read more...

22 comments 847 views
Submitted by
czoe
Shattered dreams of our Youth...a...

The Children of South Africa have their hopes shattered whilst the Political Party’s are busy with their “duties” of infighting at the House of Parliament.  Read more...

2 comments 61 views
Submitted by
nandezviews
Stockholm Syndrome as an end to t...

Hanah Arendt once wrote a controversial book titled Eichmann in Jerusalem; a case for the banality of evil.  Read more...

4 comments 70 views
Submitted by
Heiné de Waal
Preaching does not help!

If you want to convert people to your opinion, chances are good you will tell them what is wrong or right. Read more...

70 comments 760 views
Growth and Teenagers

An adolescent is a stage where by teenagers become irresponsible and do not listen to their parents. Read more...

4 comments 576 views
Submitted by
Winston Jackson
The Oscar judgment

Forget about the few enlightened informed who always think they know better. You just have to do a survey if you want to prove a point about South Africa's justice system. Read more...

7 comments 981 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Pre-order your iPhone 6 at kalahari.com

Hurry and pre-order your own iPhone 6 now at SA’s favourite online store!

Bargain box – 60% off

Reduced prices, very limited stock. While stocks last. Hurry and shop now!

Mind blow low prices on electronics

Get either the Prestigio multiphone or Proline tablet 7” tablet for only R699. Offers valid while stocks last. Shop now!

30% off Barbie toys

Save 30% on all Barbie toys and accessories. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Baby extravanganza month at kalahari.com

Celebrate baby month with a wide range of awesome baby products. Offers valid while stocks last. Shop now.

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.