MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Comments: 0
Article views: 125
Latest Badges:

View all Tyronehster's badges.

Summer in th' Ozarks

06 June 2014, 11:29

It wus one a them summer days a body dreams ‘bout all winter long – warm days, but not too hot and makin’ enuff of a sweat t’ wash off the dirt thet builded up over th’ winter. June bugs wus buzzin’ ‘roun’ an’ ever’thang wus real purty, whut with th’ leaves all green an’ shiny, and a mighty nasty winter done an’ gone. Man, she  shorely wus a bad one! Th’ folks down in th’ holler never in their whole lives experienced nuthin’ like thet winter. Snow in th’ holler? Never heard a nothin’ like thet b’fore.

Still. Thet wus all gone an’ the bird wus sangin’ real purty an’ the squirrels wus runnin’ roun’ in th’ branches and chasin’ each other an life wus jes’ good! Abner and Buford wus moseyin’ up t’ Hiram’s cabin cuz they done heerd Bubba wus up there an’ he wus a’ways a riot wi’ his big city stories an’ big city beer in them fancy cans.

When th’ cabin hove inta sight, there wus Bubba’s pickup, all shiny ‘n’ red, with th’ Stars an’ Bars on th’ antenna an’ them big shiny wheels; man, she wus a beaut! Had hisse’f a sticker on th’ back, said, “The South Will Rise Again.” Buford wus mighty impressed when Abner tol’ him thet, though he din’ know much a thet there history stuff like th’ Civil War an’ all thet.

But he shore nuff liked thet there sticker, all blue an’ silver.

There wus a mighty big ruckus comin’ f’um Hiram’s cabin. Bein’ Mayor now, Bubba come t’ visit him plenny, cuz he done he’ped git Hiram ‘lected Mayor, so Hiram wuz beholden. ‘sides, Hiram liked him fine!

Ever’buddy wus laughin’ fit t’ bust a gut, cuz thet Bubba, he shore wus a funny guy! He wus tellin’ a story when they got there. ‘Y’know, long b’fore I met Loretta, I wen’ on a date wi’ this gal f’um N’Orleans, had herse’f some airs an’ graces like ya wouldn’ b’lieve! She wus real purty, min’, not purty like Loretta here, but purty ‘nuff.

‘We had ourse’ves a drink or two an’ wen’ up t’ her room there in th’ hotel, an’ thangs got real steamy, like. You woulda thunk we wus rasslin’, there wus so much action. She said t’ me t’ kiss her on th’ lips, so I did, an’ you won’ b’lieve whut happened!’

Nobuddy said nuthin’, waitin’ fer him t’ carry on. ‘She crossed her laigs an’ broke my sunglasses!’

Well, ever’buddy wus laughin’ fit t’ bust a gut, and Bubba said, ‘I don’ know whut y’all find so goldarned funny! I had t’ smoke me forty packets a cigarettes t’ git them sunglasses!’

Well the laughin’ sort a died down a bit, cuz them wus special sunglasses; you couldn’ buy them in any store, they could on’y be got by sendin' in forty cigarette packet tops, an’they wuz real fancy. Made ya look like a cowboy when you wus wearin’ them.

Well, Abner an’ Buford grabbed theirse’ves each a beer f’um thet there cooler box thet Bubba a’ways brung with him when he come t’ visit. Man, thet there city beer wus good! Ice cold an’ jes’ enuff bite t’ kill a thirst, but make you wan’ more.

‘Y’know, when I wus ’bout twenny four, the circus come t’ town an’ they had the world’s tallest woman, an’ I wanted t’’ see her, so I got me a ticket an’ wen’ in, an man! she wus tall. She makin’ those basketball players look like midgets. Th’ sign said she wus seven foot six an’, lookin’ at her, I b’lieved it.’

‘Y’know whut else? She wus real purty, an’ she wus smilin’ at me like I wus real special. When I got a chance t’ talk t’her, she wus real nice, but she tol’ me she wus lonely, on ‘ccount a bein’ so tall. Men din’t like it, even th’ tall ones. An’ she tol’ me she really liked me, an’ if I waited till after th’ show, we could go back t’ her trailer.’

Well,everbuddy wus listenin’ real eager now, t’ hear th’ rest a thisyere story. ‘When th’ show wus over, I follered her back t’ her trailer, an’ I’m here t’tell you, them circus trailers are beauts! An’ she wusn’ to bad nuther.’

‘Well, when she sat down, she wus a’mos’ as tall as me standin’ up, but I stood there an’leaned down a bit an’ kissed her proper like, an’ she started moanin’ an’ said, “Bubba, I wan’ you t’ make love t’ me!”’

‘I kin tell you, I din need no secon’ invitation! I started takin’ off her clothes and she wus takin off mine an’ soon we wus both buck nekkid. Well I kissed he some more an’ then got t’work, makin’ real good love t’ her, an’I wus goin’ real good, when she said, “Kiss me!”. So I popped out an given her a big ol’ kiss, then shimmied back down an’ wen’ back t’ work like a dawg on a laig.’

‘I wus sweatin’ real good an’ gruntin’ by this time, an she said, “Kiss me!”. So I popped out again an’ shimmied up t’ kiss her, hopin this one wus goin’ t’ last. I shimmied back down an’wus goin’ great guns, when she said, “Kiss me!” I hel’ out my han’ an’ said, “Oh sheeit, shake my han’, I’m comin’!”’

Well, th’ folks wus laughin’ fit t’ bust a gut, an’ Loretta wi’ thet li’l tinklin’ laugh, it shore wus a good story, an’ Bubba looked mighty pleased with hisse’f. Well, he done tol’ some more stories, but thet Bubba’s got so many stories a body cain’t ‘member them all.

When it started gittin’ dark, and Abner an’ Bufrod had drunk enuff a Bubba’s beer, they walked slowly back t’ their own cabin, an’ Buford said, ‘Abner, dya thank it’s true wi’ thet tall woman? I ain’t never seen a basketball player, so I cain’t tell ifn he’s joshin’ us.’

‘Buford, them basketball players is seven foot tall, an’ she wus taller than them, thet’s why she wus in a circus. Why, ifn Goliath wus here today, he wouldn’ be fightin no Israelites, he’d be in th’ circus, makin’ hisse’f some good money.’

‘Yeah, I s’ppose thet’s true,’ said Buford. ‘Man, you shore know plenny.’

‘Yeah, book larnin’ shore nuff paid off fer me.’

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
No.You're a handbag
Not All Muslims Are Terrorists

In the wake of several attacks around the world claimed by ISIS, Boko Haram and a variety of Al Qaeda affiliates, there's been a backlash against Muslims, and it's not fair.  Read more...

0 comments 624 views
Submitted by
Bobby Shabangu
The Plight of Poverty in Zimbabwe

I'm looking at this photo that's trending on social media, of two Zimbabwean women who work at a butchery, and have been caught with stolen meat hidden on their bodies... Read more...

0 comments 245 views
Submitted by
Trudy Mhluli
Forgetting your roots Commissione...

Members of the Department of Correctional Services have for years been burdened with the fact that it’s National Commissioner that was serving the department lacked experienced and understanding of the circumstances under which its members are supposed to be performing at optimum levels with loyalty and dedication being appointed from outside of its own ranks. Read more...

0 comments 58 views
Submitted by
David Hill608
Terrorism is a consequence of the...

Terrorism is a consequence of the different types of environments that people are born into in the main and not until the root causes of terrorism are addressed in practical terms, the growth in terrorism will continue. Read more...

0 comments 29 views
State and institutions of higher ...

The debate around institutional autonomy and academic freedom is not new in the circles of students’ movement, university managers such as Vice – Chancellors and by the government through the Ministry of Higher Education.  Read more...

0 comments 30 views
Submitted by
Owen Simons
Kicking dust in the face of the P...

I would like to think of myself as a reasonable, and reasoned person.That is when my basic sense of what is right or wrong is not offended. Read more...

0 comments 732 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.