PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Duits
 
Comments: 2
Article views: 5
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all Duits's badges.
 

THE "MIDDLEWIFE"

17 August 2012, 07:04

I received this email a while back and thought it would be a good laugh for a Friday.
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years.  I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students.  It helps them get over shyness and usually,  show-and-tell is pretty tame Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.  And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First,  Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a  hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop!  My  Mom had this bag of  water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands mimicking water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
 
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
2 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

'Which Beemer should I buy?' You ...

City Press writer Justus Visagie, with some help from Martin Pretorius, provides useful answers to your automotive questions. Read more...

0 comments 644 views
Submitted by
Leon Vorster
The incompetent within...

An incompetent president is the ignition that sets the rot in motion in a nation.  Read more...

0 comments 1427 views
Submitted by
Sanele Sano Ngcobo
Ramaphosa has betrayed the fight ...

As Deputy President and Chairperson of the South African National Aids Council, Comrade Ramaphosa should be leading the fight against immorality. Read more...

0 comments 1931 views
Submitted by
Audrey Ngobeni
Why is the opposition so afraid o...

While the opposition makes vague and baseless allegations against the man, it is they who are using all sort of technologies to ensure that the honest voices of people cannot be heard. Read more...

0 comments 2083 views
Submitted by
Thubelihle Dumakude
Burundi stuggles to get rid of Nk...

It is now clear to everyone in the world that Burundi is facing a dilemma struggle when it comes to governing the country and choosing true political leaders. Read more...

0 comments 310 views
Submitted by
Zeke Wareley
What is happening to our beloved ...

The ANC are choosing a man who has no values over its people who voted for them. I am so disappointed.  Read more...

0 comments 2585 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2017 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.