Yes, its me again and this time it's my friends from TELKOM.
Another author described Telkom's customer care policy as follows : "please let us know if you are unhappy about our service and we will appoint one of our experts to ignore you tactfully"and i cannot agree more.
Over the past two months i have spoken more to Telkom agents than to my wife and this new relationship is not blooming either.
You try and log a fault with Telkom and before you even attempt to log the fault, you are being informed and reminded that " telkom will charge you an unnecessary callout fee if it's found if your fault is unrelated to the Telkom network" This is like a hooker charging you before satisfying you !
One would expect that a company with the status and tenure of Telkom, they would have perfected the art of solving problems, yet they brilliantly managed to perfect the art of spinning bullshit !
You log a fault, you duly receive a message that this call is receiving attention and they even apologise for your inconvenience - how polite !
A few days later you receive another message telling you that your fault is in the hand of their technical repair division- now start to think that this is service ..
Another few days later you receive a message, which sounds like you just won a lottery scam , telling you that your report reference was restored, but with snag ... " if this problem still exists please contact Telkom on 10210 "
I immediately scream " but you just told me you fixed this, what am i missing.
In anticipation that you will now be able to stream the latest porn movie on Justin Bieber's webpage, you get home just to find the service in very much the same shape as it was before.
The wonderful thing is that you can now start this whole process from scratch and when you speak to the call centre expert, you are being asked the same questions and can tell the the same story as a few days ago with no history recorded that you bitched about this very same problem, just the other day.
So you proceed to switch on, switch off ( and get to experience what is feels like to be karate kid ) and the result of this on/off manoeuvres is that the same problem persists and then comes the big announcement. " I will escalate this problem to line section " and wait there is more.. you get to tell the same story for the third time in one evening, but to a different person. I guess that makes it new news to that person who now qualifies for a happy meal !
Internet in South Africa is not expensive, its ludicrous and believe it or not, the fact that you have spent time and money and after all this need psychiatric support, will not earn you any discount for the service you paid for but cant use.
I suggested that they get a slogan that read "costing your time, costing your money and screwing your first "
So, whilst waiting for my darling Telkom Technician to eventually make his appearance to fiddle with my box, i will use the 10.3 Mbps download speed from my mobile provider just so i can stay in touch with my twitter account where i will continue to insult your further.
Thank you for ruining each of my last 9 days for having to deal with you.
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