We love our President and we are happy that the DA can't kick him out as there will never be enough of them in the Parliament and that Accountability Institute can't do nothing either.
Our President does not speak a fire pool of sh*t. Only other people do this, the misfits.
We are happy with no education. No 1 doesn't have any and he has fathered the Nation.
It's nice to have lots of wives to cook, clean and sweep. And other girls with which to sleep.
When the children and old women ask to be raped, this is ours to take, like a piece of cake.
We know about HIV but we have the power. All gone, after we have a shower.
We are happy that your son, Dudu, destroyed those mines. And that he has to pay no fines.
You will give us another job. We have happy to give our money to your best friend, Bob.
If we have no sewerage, lights and water, we will be happy to use the cows at your kraal to slaughter.
We can always kill the farmers for more. We'll just shoot through the front door.
You paid for Nkandla, you are not a villain. You deserve your salary of R240 million.
We don't like that Thuli. She is nothing but a bully.
For your family you need those aeroplanes. They can also use Mr Gupta's especially when it rains.
We are happy with AA and BEE. This is fair and free, just like the IEC.
When we are Zimbabwe, we will not moan. We'll just ask our China's for another loan.
Other liars say you are a liar. So we'll burn what the Boere built, it keeps us warm by the fire.
If our baby goes to hospital and dies, we know you did your best and we will not cry.
If the cops are nowhere to be found, we'll still sleep safe and sound.
You, and not Mr Mugabe is idolised by the African continent. For you, we'll build a monument.
It makes us too cross when the people shout: "Boo! Boo!!" When we take back what the DA stole, we won't throw the poo poo.
We will vote for you on the 7th May. We will vote for the ANC until we go grey.
With all the free KFC, it won't cost us a cent.
Viva! VIVA!! Our humble, hardworking Mr President.