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Lesego Setou
 
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The 7 most notorious sick leave excuses

22 August 2013, 08:43

There is a universal sickness that we all have; it’s called the Getting Used To Something Syndrome. This sickness is the reason why at some point we stop valuing our partners the way we used to, stop enjoying our cars, homes even jobs the way we used to in the beginning. We get used to things and with getting used to something, comes being tired of the very same thing.  I won’t pretend to know everything about life but what I do know is that the majority of people have at some point in their career lives felt the, I am tired of work, so I will play sick today bug. Anyone in their early twenties will tell you the comes a time when one discovers that you are out of excuses especially if you have worked for the same company for a long time. I therefore present the 7 Most Notorious Sick Leave Excuses

1.       Kids are sick- If there was ever an investment every employee needs to make is to have a child. This resource is so great you can practically squeeze at least 7 to 8 excuses from having a child, better yet children. My child is sick can be used over and over for your duration of employment until your child is 13 years old.  If you have a baby, you can be creative with excuse from using out of the box child related excuses like, I cannot come today, my Nanny did not report for work. So effectively once you have a child you really are set for life

2.       Geyser Burst- One of the most innovative excuses. It’s most ideal though if you want to take a half day. This is the type of excuse one usually uses after text exchanges with your lover which advocate knocking of now and meeting at home, mainly used during the early joys of young love

3.       I am sick- This excuse must be the most highly used and abused.  The thing about this excuse as opposed to my kids are sick is that, it is not sustainable. You will eventually run out of possible reasons as to what could possibly be wrong with you lest you get laid off because of incapacity.  The commonly used examples are Migraines, Common Cold, Flu, Stomach Bug, but at this point you are running out of excuses

4.       Period Pains- This excuse is very limiting because first of its not accommodative to men, and its mostly effective if the boss is male.  The nice thing about men is they have no comprehension of what these pain feels like, so one can really play with the bosses ‘s emotions on this one. When the boss is female, she probably not be that sympathetic or she might slap you with, next time, take Nurofen comment

5.       Car Problem – This is also a nice one and if you have some knowledge about cars you can also milk at least three excuses out of a car for a period of 4 years. From the car won’t start to clutch plate, gear box and starter. This might also prompt your boss to give you an increase realising that you need a new car, but I would not necessary bet on this

6.       Family Funerals- Now this is a black man’s favourite, because with black people everyone is family. An aunt to a cousin of a friend of your mother is your aunt and you will most likely attend her funeral. Although one can milk this excuse one should be mindful not to end up being the only heir left because you have killed all your relatives in your laziness.

7.       Family Crisis- This is a generic reason which really means, I am so out of excuses. The nice thing about this excuse though is that people do not like to pry so no one will interrogate further if you say family crisis while wearing a half sad and half disappointed look.

In closure do remember that what you confess with your mouth becomes your reality, what you think you attract, so if you are going to say your car broke down, prepare for a very stubborn car the next day, it’s called The Law of Attraction.

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