PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Candy Ervin
 
Comments: 18
Article views: 1306
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all Candy Ervin's badges.
 

The Baby theory

21 January 2014, 14:21

On the 13th March 2013, 9:05am, I gave birth to a phenomenal little girl. At 21 weeks this little munchkin moved from the birth canal into full breech after a very scary threatened miscarriage. It was a high risk pregnancy from the beginning and I terrified I would lose her. I was too scared to bond with her, and after the first scare I decided to throw caution to the wind and bond with my child. I told her I loved her and that I always would. I told her I would always protect her and I asked her to please hold on for me because I needed her more than she needed me. After that I had two more scares and I became a paranoid mess. I read every article online, I got the books and read them. I sought advice from experts on how best to keep my child in my tummy. Eventually I realized I was driving myself crazy and that I was going to make myself lose her.

I calmed down. But it wasn't easy. Eventually her little movements turned into big kicks. Her head was always butting me in the ribs; I gained 25 ks and really gave meaning to the saying "eating for two". I was determined to make sure she was born healthy.

By 28 weeks she still hadn't moved into the birth canal, and my doctor said c-section. I was torn. Part of being a good enough mother (according to society) is doing natural birth. With no painkillers. If you choose to have an epidural you are "drugging your child". You are taking that child’s right away to come into the world with a clear state of mind. It doesn't matter that the child is ripping you in half and your blood pressure is through the roof and you can't breathe because you are in so much pain it would be easier to just pass out because you are pushing out a baby hippo. A Human body can bear up to 45 del (units) of pain. Yet at time of giving birth, a mother feels up to 57 Del (units) of pain. This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the same time. Why in the world would you put yourself through that? This isn’t the dark ages anymore, technology is so advanced. We have so many choices now, 40 years ago c-sections were not common practice. Don’t get me wrong, to those woman who do choose to push, I take my hat off to you. Every one has the right to choose, this is why I am writing this.

My uterus was at risk of tearing. I have struggled with endometriosis since I was 16 and was told that I would never fall pregnant. I had 7 operations on my uterus in 5 years. I was due to have my right ovary removed because it was constantly developing large cysts on it, I was in tremendous pain daily. A few months before I was due to be in theatre, I found out I was six weeks pregnant. While carrying my daughter I suffered three threatened miscarriages. THREE! Most women only suffer one, if that. I had three. On three separate occasions I thought I was losing my daughter. What that did to me emotionally I can never explain. My daughter is resilient, she is dynamite. She proved that whilst in the womb.  My doctor told me that even if she was in the birth canal and I did natural birth the pressure would have torn my uterus as it had gotten weaker with each operation. I would never have been able to carry another child again. My choice to push was never mine and it never will be. It wasn’t meant to be.

The slack I have gotten from Mothers regarding my having a c-section is terrible. I am told I should have let my gynea turn my daughter into the birth canal and “taken my chances”. I am told they would never have let their gynea “gut them open” and I am told they “would never have put their child through that trauma”. Firstly, I nor my gynea was not prepared to let him go elbow deep to turn a baby in full breach. Secondly, my gynea didn’t “gut me open”. Ten months down the line and you can barely see a scar.  I was up and WALKING, nursing and sitting with my baby 6 hours after the op and that is because it took that long for me to catch up on some sleep and gain the feeling back in my legs. Lastly, my daughter was born within 5 minutes, lying on my chest with big, curios eyes, excellent scores on the apgar scale weighing an impressive 3.01kg. And this was all from a baby who nearly died three times. She has the most adorable nature, a very outgoing personality and at ten months has beautiful blue eyes, blonde hair, pouty cheery red lips and an energy that I can only WISH I had.

I am also a single Mom, her dad has never met her and never will. I am a good enough Mother for that too.

To those that choose c-sections, don’t be disheartened. If you do what’s best for YOU it is also best for baby because at the end of the day, what affects you, affects baby. To those that do natural with epidural, good for you. It would have been nice to have a choice; you are STILL a Mom. For those that do natural, the “natural” way. Well done, you are tough and should know it.

For the first time Moms, being a mom does not give you the right to lecture other first time Moms. I am going to take advice from the 52 year old who has given birth to and raised three children, not from the 28 year old with a one year old. Be mindful of what you say, you’re treading on thin ground when you criticize a Mom. Before you quote “expert advice”, pull yourself toward yourself and ask yourself if that person REALLY wants to and NEEDS to hear your condescending and patronizing lecture on what is “best for baby”.

That being said, to ALL the Moms out there that may be reading this. New Moms, old Moms, pat yourself on the back. Thank you for your patience with us, for wiping our snotty noses. Thank you for kissing our boo boo’s. Thank you for wiping our tears away and for keeping our little dreams alive.

Thank you to my Mom for teaching me how to be the best Mother I can be. Thank you for showing me how to do things, for standing by me and my little V. Thank you for all the love you show her and I. Thank you for teaching me that it doesn’t matter how I brought her into this world, thank you for showing me that I brought her into this world regardless.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
18 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Meta
News in the digital age

How do you think that spreading your hate/bigotry and or intolerance helps anybody? Read more...

9 comments 397 views
Submitted by
Brian Faul
How and why a Dictator is born

One needs to remember looking back in history these hard times is when a dictator is more likely to get born. It is during these hard times that a dictator gets voted into power. Read more...

4 comments 1119 views
Submitted by
Prenisha Naidoo
I will be proactive...

This letter is in response to articles on the death of baby Jamie Naidoo, We have the tendency to be reactive…we wait for something to happen, then suddenly we care, writes a News24 User. Read more...

2 comments 369 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Celebration

Make a list of at least ten things that you can celebrate, and write two or three reasons why you can celebrate those things or events. Read more...

1 comments 93 views
Submitted by
Eric de Castro
Last squeak of the year

 Read more...

8 comments 73 views
Submitted by
MarkH

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

2DAYS ONLY – 30% off Appliances

Coffee makers, blenders, fans, juicers and more. T&Cs apply. Shop now!

2 DAYS ONLY – 40% off books

Get 40% off when you buy 2 books. For two days only! T&Cs apply. Buy now!

Up to 50% off on outdoor gear

Save on chairs, blankets, cooler bags, umbrellas and more. Shop now!

Save on Samsung

Cameras, mobile phones, TVs, Tablets and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Grand Theft Auto 5

Now available on PS4, Xbox One and PC from R649. Buy now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.