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Tyronehster
 
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The Cambrian Explosion explained

05 October 2012, 12:26

It was a might hot day down there by th’ crick, and the fish wasn’ in no mood fer bitin’. The flies was buzzin’ ‘roun’, makin’ it real peaceful, like, when Buford woke Abner f’um his nap.

‘Abner, you thank it’s true whut them city folk say ‘bout dinosaurs and sech?’

Abner pushed back his hat. ‘Whut zackly are they sayin’?

‘I hear say that a mighty big chunk a rock, sumpin’ called a mee-tyer, fell outa that ol’ sky an’ kilt them all.’

‘Now you hol’ on jes’ a minute, there! Where in tarnation you gonna get a rock so big it gonna kill all them dinaosaurs?! You ever seen a dinosaur?’

‘Hell no, Abner, you know I ain’t ever been out’n the Ozarks, and you know there ain’t no dinosaurs here!’

Abner sighed real deep. He wus gonna need the patience of Job; the one f’um the Bible, not the one that worked down at the General Dealer. That Job, he din’ have no patience with nobuddy!

‘Buford, a dinosaur, he so big he kin lif’ two pickup trucks! What kinda rock you think it’s gonna take to kill all a them?’

Buford , he looked a bit shamefaced there. ‘I guess I never thunk ‘bout it that way b’fore.’

Abner shook his head. ‘That’s yer problem, Buford, you don’t think ‘bout nothin’!’

‘That ain’t zackly true!' He sulked. ‘You ain’t answerin’ none o’ the questions I’m askin ya.’

‘Look Buford,’ he said, real patient like. ‘Y’all eva try to throw a stone at a real pesky fly?’

Buford looked a mite shamefaced there. ‘’Yup, I shore did.’

‘You eva hit one?’

‘Now that’s just plumb foolish! You know I ain’t!’

‘Well, how in tarnation you thank all them dinosaurs gonna be kilt by one rock?’

Buford looked shamefaced agin. ‘I dunno. I jest heard tell.’

Abner sighed real deep again. ‘You member when you asked me ‘bout the monkeys, and I tol’ you ‘bout the meebas?’

Buford sat forward now, eager like, eye’s shinin’. ‘I shore do, Abner, I shore do!’

‘Well you know them meebas was made before the Bible was writ?’

‘Shore, that’s whut you done tol’ me.’

Abner nodded. ‘Then they clumb outa the swamp and got theirselves eyes?’

‘I remember.’

‘Good.’ Abner held out his hands. ‘How many meebas you think I could hol’ in my hands?’

‘Shucks, Abner, I don’ know!’

‘Hunnerds, Buford, maybe even thousans, an’ them little critters growed up t’ become dinosaurs.’

Buford scratched his head, real puzzled. Buford spent a lot of time scratchin’ his head, that was fer shore. ‘Then how in tarnation they grow inta dinosaurs ifn they wus so small?’

‘I done tol’ ya, Buford. Eevolution. Small thangs become big; that’s whut it means.’

‘So how come all them dinosaurs upped and died ifn there wusn’t no meetyer?’

Abner looked so fulla book larnin’ then, he coulda been a perfessor. ‘We-e-ell. Long time ago, even before the Bible was writ, there was an almighty big explosion, they done call It the Cambrian Explosion. I thank it happened in a place called Cambria. That there explosion wus so big, it exploded all the way to China!’

Buford’s eyes looked like they wus gonna pop clear outa his skull. ‘China?! That’s a mighty long way, Abner!’

‘Yup! Shore is. And that explosion blew the dinosaurs inta itty bitty bits and kilt them all.’

‘Boy Abner, you shore are smart’ Buford said, his eyes shinin’.

Abner nodded. ‘That’s whut you get from book larnin’, Buford.’ He pulled his hat down over his eyes. ‘Now you gonna catch us some fish while I grab some shut-eye? I’m plumb wore out fum all that talkin.’

Buford nodded. 'Shore, Abner, Shore.’ He shook his head in admiration. ‘Man, I wisht I had me some book larnin’!’

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