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The Last Contrarian
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The Contrian's rant against pseudo experts! (R18)

12 February 2014, 07:23

Dietitians, nutritionists, detox advocates, homeopaths... pick your favourite branch of pseudo-science and one of these apes are bound to be swinging from it!

I’d like to warn the reader that this article of mine is a full-on rant, no holds barred. So if you can’t handle swear words, or feel offended reading writing a black and white opinion (instead of a grey one that does not raise the finger to anyone in particular), then, please, click one of the more appealing headlines elsewhere on this page. You have been cautioned, so don’t complain in the comments box if you became possessed by your own curiosity and read the rest of this article!

With that declaratory shit out of the way, it’s time to erect the stake for what will be a mass-immolation of pseudo experts. And the meat for today’s festivities: dietitians, nutritionists, detox advocates, homeopaths, and etcetera—because pick whatever be your favourite branch of pseudo-science, I guarantee you, one of these apes are bound to be swinging from it!

Now, I am not the only person who has had enough of the thumb-sucked advice of those experts who capitalized on the systematic dumbing down of society, oh, say, over the last 50 years. As the common man relaxed his mind more and more, ‘experts’ invaded from the flanks of society with all their useless advice and their ‘no side effects’ (also no other effects) products.

This is what happens when you forgo critical thought and allow other people to do your research for you. Seeing all these sheeple bleat about in misery (a result of their own mental lethargy) is a rare sight of social justice, but it also shakes the foundations of civilization.

From my lofty position in society, I don’t like the idea of the pillars of progress keeping me high above the reach of the grasping masses giving way because ‘experts’ are hacking at them. It is the sense of self-preservation that drives me to occasionally shove my head out of my window and shout to the man on the street, “Hey, you, don’t buy those overpriced supplements from that moron nutritionist!” or “Stop listening to bullshit advice and go read a book on the subject, for god’s sake!”

I blame much of this issue on talk shows. People like that money-grubbing bitch Operah Winfrey and her makeshift panel of experts have drilled the idea that we are all starving or dying from overeating in some way into the minds of practically every viewer. Now the poor morons staring at the tele are hypnotized into the belief that if they don’t detox their livers at least once a month, they will suffer some decrement in their health.

Have you common folk not learned by now that when someone tells you of an impending calamity (if you don’t heed their advice), that they are, most likely, LYING! It’s that old ‘the sky is falling’ argument all over again. Once more, the shamans raise the ceremonial daggers and command you to send forth gifts along with your first-born son, so that the priests and leaders may feast and sacrifice the innocent to appease the gods into allowing the life-giving sun to shine again! If you think I am making up some dramatized scene, then go read a history book (or two), for this is exactly what the Mayan elite did to their gullible populations at the foot of the temples when a solar eclipse was in progress.

Also, the Mayan shamans and chiefs knew very well—for they understood the procession of the heavenly bodies—that the blotting out of the sun’s light was but a temporary, cyclic event. This did not stop them from using the masses’ ignorance of these natural phenomena to enrich the Mayan elite and slay the adversaries’ heirs.

But I don’t expect people to thank me for pointing out the obvious scams of our time. It is, after all, the masses being taken for a ride who themselves turn around in unison and tell me to “shut up, heretic! The appeasement ceremony is in progress!”

But as this is an imaginary day of triumph (with all these shamans, chiefs, dietitians, etc. crackling away on the stake) I’d like to extend an invitation to those climatologists, environmentalists, and some politicians to join the BBQ. They too have been milking the masses by telling them that terrible things are coming our way, and that the man on the street must tighten their belt and lower their expectations if they are to survive for much longer.

Wake up, people! Wake up and look at what these vanguards of doom are really doing: taking you for a fool whilst enriching/empowering themselves off your contributions and support!

More than this I need not say, better than this I cannot say it. It’s time that you, the common man, shoulder the burden of critical thought (however heavy that burden may be)—it is your only defense against invasion by these pseudo experts and their endless stream of advice and products. Avert your gaze from the hypnotic lights these bastards have erected to cast a spell over your mind and lead you astray!

And let this be a warning to those intellectuals who like to relax their minds for extended periods of time after they have made enough money from their mental productions. You may very well end up in that sheeple flock, because the mind’s grasp on the trunk of reason is weak and quickly lets go to grab onto the more accommodating vine of ignorance dangling nearby.

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