The Logic of Christianity: What am I missing?
This article is a shorthand version of how I see Christianity. Something seems very wrong with this picture, though. But I simply can’t put my finger on it.
God made Adam and Eve. We read that he was very satisfied with his handiwork. For some obscure reason, however, he decided to put them to the test, knowing full well beforehand that they were going to fail the test, because he is almighty and all knowing. He then decides to punish them for having failed the test. The snake loses its legs and voice and is condemned to eat dust forever (though I have yet to see a dust eating snake). Happy days are over for Adam and his male descendants. No more free meals. From now on they have to work for a living. Eve and her female descendants will bring their offspring into the world with great pain and suffering.
Some years later, God had enough of his creation. He decides to do the <Alt><Ctrl><Del> thing and get rid of the lot. He saves only one righteous man and his family and the animals. The righteous man and his family survive and after some drunkenness and incest, the story continues.
Then, a few thousand years later, God decides to forgive mankind for the original sin of Adam and Eve. He pondered on how to go about it and then, voila! He came up with a great idea! He would murder his son. (Why all the excessively brutal sideshows is beyond me) Jesus had to die for our sins. Without Jesus dying, for some reason, the almighty God is not able to forgive mankind.
Three days after the crucifixion God decides that he needs his son for higher duties, so he resurrects him and takes him back. God so loved the world that he sacrificed his only begotten son. For a whole three days.
Man’s sins are now forgiven. Or are they? God forgave the sins of all except his chosen people, the Jews! He watched over them, helped them win wars, plunder and kill the enemy, was their guiding light for a few millennia and now, all of a sudden, God dumps them. Surely, in his omnipotence and omniscience he must have known from day one that he had been wasting his time with the Jews all along and probably should have left them in Egypt? So why did he even bother?
But it doesn’t end there. The Jews are not just dumped. They now become the bad guys and the Christians (led by illiterate fishermen and tax collectors) now become the heroes. The Jews get labelled as Christ killers, because, in the words of many a Christian Church father, ‘they killed God’. Two problems here - a) I thought God sacrificed Jesus and b) Jesus is supposed to be God. Can mortal men kill God? And does someone who is resurrected after three days really qualify as being dead/murdered?
In any case, the Jews (God’s former chosen ones) are now the most hated people on earth. Even Jesus (himself a Jew) tells them that the devil is their father. Antisemitism becomes rife in Christian circles. And we all know what that ultimately led to.
Jesus died for our sins, which are now forgiven. How? What sins are forgiven? Men still have to work for a living. Women still suffer tremendous pain during childbirth. We are all still going to be judged on our sins when Jesus comes. Only then will it be decided whether we made the cut and can go to heaven or whether we will burn in hell. So how did Jesus’ crucifixion change anything?
Now we are waiting for Jesus to come and fetch us as he promised. But he promised that he will come within the lifetime of some in the audience he was addressing early in the first century. So he is almost 2000 years late. Will he still come? I guess we will have to wait and see...
There, in a nutshell, is my understanding of Christianity. Granted, it is written with tongue in cheek, but I meant every single sentence. This is how I understand Christianity. Obviously, this is not how Christians see their religion, so I must be missing something that they are not. Is there anyone out there that can enlighten me (in a civilized manner) please?