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The Last Contrarian
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The Mampoermag Saga | Part 1

03 August 2012, 12:47

Just as soon as I defend alcohol and its place in / value to society, along comes a pathetic group of primates to provide the antithesis to my argument.

Yes comrades, the Mampoermag is making the news again as their leaders face the rottang of justice. This is somewhat of a step up for their media image; usually they make the news when another one of their meticulously planned terrorist attacks fails spectacularly without even so much as one granule of explosive being ignited.

Maybe they fail so dismally because one can spot a boeremag ‘liberator’ from a mile away (so much for being covert). First, there is the oranje blanje blou flag waving at the end of a 9-foot pole. Then there’s the homemade ammunition which more dangerous to the user than the target; a biltong-maker (a 303 rifle that discharges but ONE projectile before necessitating a lengthy reload); some low yield chlorine bombs (something kids play with without getting hurt); and an air gun armed with a few poison-tipped darts (the poison being a mildly irritating concoction made by mixing Doom and Baygone). Did I leave anything out? Oh yes! The spiked clubs!

With this arsenal of state-of-the-art riot and chaos weaponry, they plan to overthrow the government while most of us are trying to enjoy the rugby. I said THEY PLAN TO OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT... [Crickets…] Yup, nobody takes the Mampoermag seriously anymore.

Here’s a tip for the Mampoermag masterminds and meticulous planners. Why don’t you idiots employ a few township delinquents to teach you how you plan and execute an attack? In case you haven’t noticed, three delinquent township teens, a pocket-knife, and one 9mm pistol with a few rounds can have a 5 member family on a farm (armed with shotguns, 303 rifles, and hunting knives, mind you) strung up and gutted in a single night. And this without years being wasted by the perps on planning the attack.

How can the Mampoermag even hope to be taken seriously when they can show no results for their efforts and still insist on being so ‘450BC’? They have bushy beards, sandals, a 2000 year old readers digest, a loony prophet for a leader, and the absolute conviction that god is on their side. And on they march to the promised land!

Where have we heard this before? Oh yes, the Israelites! And like them, this group has no homeland, so they forcibly want to take someone else’s land. Where do they get the authority to do so? Look up! Yes, that's right, god the real-estate agent! Thus, almost all of these right-wing groups consider themselves as a stray tribe of the Israelites. And where is their promised land? The whole of South Africa! Oh and if you are not white or Afrikaans enough, you can go jump in the ocean--you cannot be part of their little 'Volkstaat!'

Definition of Volkstaat: The most arable, pristine land in the country surrounded by an electric and barbwire fence studded with signboards that read: Fuck the rest of you!

As the mampoermag can claim ZERO successful operations executed since their inception, one may, perhaps a bit hastily, qualify them as harmless. They tried to blow up the Vaal Dam a few years back. They evidently don't know that around the Vaal Dam live mostly affluent whites. I guess we can at least say they are not completely racist. They are, at least, willing to kill some whites in the process to start their revolution. But they also abandon their members that get caught when they try to do the Mampoermag's bidding (to protect their secretive ranks). But it is what they are up to lately that bothers me. These psychotic christian wackos will make the kids of today the martyrs of their cause.

The old 'generals' are too lazy, old, and frail to fight their own battles now, so they enlist and enslave the minds of the youth. Or as I like to call them, the sun-dried afrikaner youth brigade. As you read this, somewhere out there in the Freestate is a training camp with an ek Kommando Korporaal telling young white boys that blacks are monkeys and that soon we whites will have to kill them or we will be killed by them. The baptism is complete when the sun-dried leather skin manifest and the one jolly giggles of adolescence are replaced with nonsensical crap, such as Mandela was a terrorist, blacks are monkeys, whites have bigger brains (ask the general why women are as smart as men despite having smaller brains), and the only way to live in peace in SA is through a racial civil war.

These damn kids are too young and stupid to even understand any of this, yet now they will die to defend these ideologies that were forcibly impregnated into their minds. Evident, once again, is the hypocrisy and denialism of whites. If news were to surface tomorrow that there were camps training young blacks to kill whites - there would be a fucking uproar!

When rumours of these camps surfaced late last year, the Afrikaans white community did what it does best—absolutely nothing; no mass-condemnation of this abhorrent behaviour, just silence. They will not lambast the right-wingers because they share so many cultural and historical similarities!

Whenever I highlight and address anything negative about whites or Afrikaners in general, I get told that it is just a small group of people behaving badly, and that I am delusional / a troll / an idiot / etc. We have the really nice, non-racist, non-religious, libertarian whites here on news24--NOT! Look at the comments on news24, made mostly by whites; they reflects a racist, supremicist, sollipsistic midset and yes that is, in general.

Then I am not even diving into my own personal experience with damn near every afrikaner I met and interacted with over 26 years spent in SA. That is a sufficiently large sample size (as the scientifically literate here will know) from which to extract generally applicable statistics. Whites are still clinging to the apartheid mindset: the ‘us VS the rest’ ideology that always makes them feel threatened, targeted, discriminated against, and left behind. It is very hard to find sympathy for people who have so much of it for themselves.

Oh by the way, Nelson Mandela just died this morning. It is being kept secret by the SA media. No really, but we got the news here in Singapore so its for real this time. I bet I just gave some olf white tannie a heart attack.

You will hear these sorts of claims ever so often in white circles. Whites LOVE scaring the shit out each other with rumours Madela's death because they all believe in a nonsense hoax called Uhuru or Operation Iron Eagle or Night of the Long Knives (a Nazi operation that happened in the past).

This is the codename for a massive and relentless black on white genocide that will supposedly be triggered by the death of former president Nelson Mandela, and the entire thing is so sinister and so secret that EVERYBODY knows about it. Of course, if you ask any black person about this they will openly tell you "ag man that uhuru thing is rubbish!" But like a bunch of New World Order consiracy theorist or 9-11 truthers, this group has made up their minds!

Conspiracy theories are very easy to spot to the trained mind. For those who have not yet decyphered the underlying pattern to a conspiracy theory, allow me to illuminate your mind.

First and foremost, you need a religious element. Christianity will do nicely. If people can believe this cr@p, you are 90% on your way to converting them to your conspiracy theory, regardless of how absurd it may sound.

Second, you need an evil, maligned, and secretive government set against the backdrop of an apocolyptic age where traditional values are being choked by modernity.

Third, you need a bunch of people who don't like to think, are scientifically illiterate, and can't reason or think logically (there are literally BILLIONS of them around).Fourth, you need to concoct a terrifying story filled with war, suffering, and frighteful events (such as natural disasters)--and here's the clincher--you must provide the ray of light for them to survive through it all. But don't make survival too easy or they will abandone your conspiracy for a more gloomy and depressing one with a lower chance of survival.

The observant ones may just have spotted that I described religion. Yes I did, only religion is a conspiracy theory to save your 'after life', not your mortal life as conspiracy theories claim to insure.

And there you have it ladies and gentlemen! Conspire to your heart's desire. Whether it's the Mayan calendar, the US government, the Vatican, the NWO, alien invasions, global economic collapse, or black on white genocide, you can now thrill and horrify your friends and rake in millions with your books, pamplets, seminars and videos telling your followers how to survive the great and terrifying hour that cometh.

If my career even backfires and blows up in my face, I will surely become millionaire if people are still so damn stupid that they will believe conspiracy theories. I'll concoct the mother of all conspiracy theories and become a multi-millionaire!

Back to the Mampoermag. Their entire existence is dedicated to concocting and propagating a conspiracy into the white Afrikaner christian's psyche. And they have succeeded spectacularly. A Mandela death hoax saw me getting a dozen SMSs from people I had not spoken to in years. All of a sudden we were all 'brothers' and they sent me GPS coordinates for a place in Prieska where we can all sit and wait for the British to come and save us.

Yes, that is correct. We need not do anything, only trust in the visions of an old Afrikaner prophet (Siener van Rensburg) who got sunstroke a few times too many while reading the bible (upside down). Like any 'true' prophet, he never said things in plain English (or Afrikaans, in this case). No no, always in rhymes and obscure semantic undercurrents which can be extrapolated (like the bible) to mean ANYTHING the believer wants it to mean. Match the signs to the events of any era or century—it is completely possible!

I'll cut this article short and save the warhead for part two. Back to my alcohol...

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