Written by Fana The Purp
Is this what western culture has to offer to Africans? Is this what freedom means? Pity no one sees it for what it is, this foreign way of life is a threat to the African way of life. The unfortunate thing is that when traditionalist point out the wrongs, we are called names we cannot even pronounce *kulungile baba*.
Sex is a beautiful thing! Fact.
Yet there is this misconception that in the African/traditional context – a woman is supposed to be a nando’s chicken in bed. This is incorrect and it’s disgusting how Africans are quick to accept or believe anything from the west. Khale before the system was tempered with; when a girl went to initiation school she was taught how to “take care” of a man. Please forgive me if I am generalizing but Venda and Tsonga initiation cover sex lessons.
Sexual teachings and acts were done with the out most respect, satisfying a man did not push for a woman to degrade herself. But it’s a different story today, what I view as degradation to some its liberation. Fair enough, but as I once said – “It is your right and choice to do as you please. It is also my right and choice to comment about it”.
We need to draw a line, what I am witnessing cannot be classified as sexual liberation. We took it too far by making our women suck our d*cks and fc*k them like dogs. When will it be enough, how far is far? I am worried about the state of women and their role in the bedroom. Our sisters, aunts, mothers & daughters do degrading things so they can keep their men from cheating *sigh*.
I do agree that our culture did play a significant role in endorsing infidelity but this was corrupted by the west. All these issues started when we adopted an open-individualistic-system. There is a reason why our cultures are so strict, human beings get out of hand when given too much freedom.
As much as I am labelled a chauvinist pig, I have the out most respect for women. I was raised to view women as jewels and to respect them more than men as they are the ones who give birth to men. I prefer a submissive woman, but I will not degrade her once I shut my bedroom door. My woman is and never will be a sex toy or an in-house prostitute; I will treat her with respect in all aspects. I believe in boundaries, I believe in respect and I believe in the difference between a straat mait and my woman.
I am not saying that sexually liberated women lack self-respect, this is not about them. This is about those women who do all of these demeaning sexual acts to secure a relationship. It is sad that my sisters have to be fc*ked in the ass just to have a man in their lives. And as a traditionalist I am aware that our system of “serve your man by all means” made it easy for this situation to get here. But we need to understand that our culture does not promote or entertain a man who degrades his woman. Also, a woman has the right to consult with her elders if her man has “weird” requests or commands. But who would embarrass her man by requesting a family meeting to advise the family that her husband wants his anus licked during sex?
With that said, one would be so sure that western culture would be a better alternative to the African way of life but it has proven to be too open and fc*ked up. Funny how the western culture claims that African tradition is barbaric yet it failed to empower women in the bedroom, it made it worse for them. Let us be honest with each other, sex went from normal to uncomfortably freaky.
Many don’t do it for pleasure; they do it because they have been made to believe that it has to be done. Do you understand at what level sex is on now; imagine what kind of sex we will be having in the next 10 years.
How many of you are called bitches/hoes during sex – dirty talk akere? How many of you are spit at or spanked or forced to swallow sperm- spicing things up right? How many of you are choked or fc*ked brainless during sex – if you don’t do it, he will find someone who will ne? The unfortunate thing is that this is done for boyfriends more than husbands. And to wives who degrade themselves to please their husbands, do you have to be his slut to bring back the spark? Why are you entertaining his bad habit of sluts, which matters more – self respect or keeping your 0% Brad Pitt look alike husband?
Ladies, do not be stupid. You do not have to be his entertainment, you are his woman not his b*tch. Do not allow a relationship to turn you into something you are not. There has to be respect in the bedroom, we cannot compromise on this – as there is no respect in cuming all over a woman’s face. There’s no respect in smacking her with your d*ck all over her face, it’s funny but it does not make it right.
If we start having exception on where does respect apply, we will end up never respecting our women. If he really loves you, why does he see no wrong in making you act like those girls he sleeps with over a 6pack of Savannah? Why should you be someone else when it is time for sex? Is there a limit to what he can ask you to do? Maybe I am too old school or boring, but I fail to identify respect in modern sex. I thought this was the 21st century; women are no longer men’s toys to be ordered around. All these women do is make their men’s nasty fantasies come true, is that it? At what price though or what is happening today is the reason why our forefathers boxed women?
Twitter: @FanaThePurpMan [@FanaThePurpBlog]
Facebook group: Fana The Purp
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