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The Perfect INTP Dating strategy

12 June 2014, 13:15

The wife finally moved on 3 years ago.

The marriage councillor said that I wasn't hearty enough, or some touchy feely bullshit, and that I need to be more open with my feelings.... (So here goes.)

With her gone, I was excited to getting back into the dating world, but I had forgotten how bad I was at it.

At first I tried introspection and that failed. I then googled a personality test and I  discovered that I have an INTP personality type[1%-5% of population].  That was a really useful piece of info, and subsequently I discovered that I'm the least socially compatible type on earth.

If there were a hundred persons in a room... Id be the only person i'm compatible with. If there were 200 people in a room then one would be compatible... but 50 % chance of being a male. 

So with a room filled with 300 people chatting away, [this could be quite noisy] there is a fair chance of there being 0.75[still a change of her being a lesbian] to 1 woman in that crowd... dying to meet me.

So then. 1 hits for every 300 disappointments. That's not so crushing. If my self esteemed lowered with disappointments and increased with successes. Well...  Lets just say I was beginning to understand why I was feeling the way I did... But:

Armed with science I was feeling optimistic:

So how does one go about meeting that special lady?

Well simple, really. Ask all the dumb and ugly chicks to please F### off, and in theory 1 fair thinking woman with smaller than average boobs with a "Save the whales" T-shirt should remain.

Logical, right?

So I stepped into a biker bar, stood on a chair, and asked all the dimwits and ugly birds to please F### -off.

60 days after, I regained consciousness, and was readily working on refining my strat. Elimination strat seemed to take offense. I asked the rather chubby nurse if she would like to go save some whales with me... but she looked at me funny and punched me in the face... She was packing muscle mass, and another 60 days later, I was back stronger than ever.

Humans were terribly personal creatures. They wanted to feel like the chosen one ... no matter what. Although they make clear incompatible partnerships[alcohol lowers all standards] they would still go ahead and do it anyway. Weird.

Most successful daters would pull the smoke and mirrors ploy.

They would spray on flowery scents, distract with poetic disinformation and obvious lies, bribe with chocolates and ultimately manipulate the prospect with alcoholic intoxication

Before reality could catch up with the scam, a baby is on the way and so the deal is sealed.

The dumber ones would fall for this crap faster, and would hook up and breed faster also.

Clearly nature was working against the INTP types.

So the debate then... should all INTP personality types carry a flare-gun on them... for dating emergencies? Green for Female... Red for Males?

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