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The Perils of Literature

28 January 2013, 15:22

Abner an’ Buford wus a’settin roun’ a big ol’ log fire in their cabin. It wus purty warm inside there, and mighty cold out. Abner, he piped up an’ said, ‘We got t’ git movin’. Don’t do t’ sit in one place too long.’

‘Aw Abner,’ whined Buford, ‘it’s real cosy in here, an’ mighty cold out there!’

‘Yea Buford, I know. But this here cabin don’ have a fireplace, so we cain’t stay here too long. Next time, we gotta look for a place tha’s got one.’

‘How ‘bout that cabin up near th’ Gap, where that there writer feller f’um the city wus stayin’?’

Abner looked at Buford real keen like. ‘Whut writer feller? I never heerd nothin’ ‘bout that!’

Buford got t’ his feet; it wus gittin’ a might warm inside this cabin, now the walls wus startin’ t’ burn. ‘Come on, I’ll show you.’ They walked outside an’ it wus a cold day, but a mighty fine day fer all thet. Big blue sky with them big puffy clouds. But man, it wus cold! The air wus mighty fresh though, after the cabin.

They walked on a ways, the walkin’ keepin’ them warm while they wus walkin’ an’ it wus a good long walk to the top of the Gap. When they got there, they wus sweatin’ even though it wus cold. Buford pointed out this cabin up on th’ hillside with a nice ol’ chimbley an ever’ thang.

‘That there’s a nice place, ‘said Abner. ‘How come I don’ know nothin’ ‘bout it?’ That Abner, he a’ways wanted folks t’ thank he knew ever’thang ‘cause he had book larnin’.

‘I think mebbe Hank din’ want ever’body t’ know ‘bout it,’ said Buford. ‘He thanks it makes him look bad, so he don’t want folks t’ hear ‘bout it.’

‘But whut in tarnation happened?’

‘Well, you know Hank, he’s a mighty neighbourly type, but he likes t’ give people space t’ breathe, ‘specially when they come here fum the city.  Whut I heerd, this feller came up here t’write a book’

Abner whistled at that. ‘He must be pretty smart t’ do that. Maybe Hiram knows him, whut with his college eddication an’ all.’

Buford done shook his head. He wus enjoyin’ hisself. Usually it wus Abner tellin’ him stuff, but now he wus tellin’ Abner, and he wus lovin’ it!

‘Nope, Hiram said he don’ know him, but he knows his repitation, ‘cause he’s a famous writer. He said he jes’ come up here fer some peace an’ quiet, an t’ git away fum the city. He said that way he could concentrate on his writin’ without distractions fum the big city.’

‘Well, I cain’t b’lieve I never heerd ‘bout that!’ said Abner, mighty miffed. Buford, he smiled quietly t’ hisself. He wus enjoyin’ this!

They got t’ th’ cabin an’ it wus mighty nice indeed. Big ol’ front room, bedroom, kitchen an’ a fireplace with a big chimbley. ‘Why in tarnation would a man, even a city feller, want t’ move outa this place? This place is grand!’ There wus even furniture inside there.

‘Who does it b’long to? asked Abner, hatin’ t’ ask, ‘cause he a’ways had t’ know ever’thang.

‘Hank used t’ live here b’fore he built hisself that new house on th’ other side o’ the Gap. That house is made a bricks and sech!’

‘I cain’t b’lieve it! I known Hank all my life an’ now he’s got hisself airs an’ graces!’

‘No he ain’t!’ said Buford. ‘He’s zackly th’ same as he a’ways wus. He jes’ rented thisyere place t’ that writer feller. Ain’t nothin’ wrong wi’ that!’

‘Them people stayin on th’ other side o’ th’ Gap all got theirselves airs an’ graces. They thank they’s better’n us. He din’ like not knowin stuff, an’ it wus chawin’ at his gizzards.

‘Anyway, y’ wanna hear this story or not?’ asked Buford.

Abner sort mumbled a bit an’ said, ‘Yeah, yeah, I wanna hear it.’

‘Well, ‘bout six months after that writer feller moved in there, Hank wen’ ‘round an’ made hisself acquainted. He tol’ the writer feller he wus gonna have a shindig up at his place Friday night and he wus invitin’ the writer feller. He says that writer feller wus real excited, cause he ain’t spoke t’ nobuddy but hisself in six months.’

‘I could see he’d be excited ‘bout that,’ said Abner  a mite grudging like.

‘Then he tol’ that writer feller they wus gonna be some dancin’ going on, an’ he said that there writer feller wus mighty excited ‘bout that, cause he said he din’ have any dancin’ in six months. He looked real happy, Hank said.’

‘Then Hank tol’ him they wus gonna be some drinkin’ as well, and that there writer feller wus so happy he coulda danced a jig right there. He done tol’ Hank he din’ have nothing’ t’ drink in six months, so he wus really looking forward t’ the shindig.’

‘Well, when Hank tol’ him that they wus prob’ly gonna be some humpin’ as well, that  there writer feller nearly clicked his heels, he wus so happy. This wus gonna be a real fine shindig! He asked Hank whut he wus supposed t’ wear, and Hank said it din’ really matter, cause it wus on’y gonna be th’ two a them, an’ then he lef’.’

‘Next morning that there writer feller wus gone. Took ever’thang an’ jest left without so much as bye your leave!’

Abner shook his haid. ‘These city folks’re mighty strange, Buford, mighty strange!’

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