PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Kurt Ellis
 
Comments: 2
Article views: 669
 
 
Latest Badges:

 
View all Kurt Ellis's badges.
 

The Real Housewives of Nkandla - Episode 10

08 July 2014, 21:30

“He is back, Mr. President.”

“Who is back?”

“That fool that writes on News24.” Said Hlaudi Motsoeneng, CEO of The SABC. “That Real Housewives of Nkandla nonsense.”

“That bastard. But, how?” President Zuma dried his hair as he stepped out of his fire pool, wearing a red speedo with a machine drawn on the front. “Didn’t you hire him at the SABC?”

The CEO of the SABC lowered his head. “No sir. I tried to, but then when I was considering what salary to pay him…I decided to give myself another raise. There is no money to hire him.”

The President’s butler, a man named People rushed over and draped a robe over his shoulders. Zuma shook his head slowly, “Eish, Hlaudi. You get more raises than a Viagra test group, Ahe, Ahe, Ahe.”

The two men began walking back to the massive building - Zuma’s Nkandla home.

“But don’t worry Mr. President.” Motsoeneng said. “We can get him if we get through this Journalism License initiative I want to implement.” 

“What License is this?”

Zuma pushed open the double wide doors and stepped into his R250 million home.

“It is this plan that all journalists must have a license to report the news. In doing so, we can take away their licenses if we believe they are not being fair to us and put them in prison if they continue to write negative stories about us.”

Zuma stopped in his tracks. People dropped to his knees and slid a pair of slippers onto the presidents’ feet. “Brilliant idea Hlaudi. Absolutely brilliant. The population don’t need to know…what ever we don’t want them to know. This way we can make sure only people with the right qualifications can do the job. After all, there is nothing worse than having someone in a position that they are not qualified for. Am I right?”

The two men paused, stared at each other in total silence, then broke down laughing. Hot tears rolling down their faces.

“Eish, my stomach hurts.” Said Zuma finally.

“Are you still not feeling well, sir?”

“Ja,” responded Zuma. “No matter how many showers I’m taking, I am still not feeling good. I think it is the stress and pressure these people are putting me under.”

“I know sir.”

“Like People here.” The president gestured to his butler. “He just doesn’t understand. I gave him  food parcels for his vote, and he voted for me. But now he wants more food from me. Now he wants me to create those jobs I promised. I mean really! I’ve already won the election and the next election is five years away. He will get his food and jobs then.”

“I know sir. These people are spoilt.”

The two men walked into President Zuma’s office. Hlaudi waited the five minutes it took for Zuma to walk around his desk and then to take a seat.

“First they complain about me spending a little money on this humble dwelling, and now they are upset that a measly R48 million spent on my inauguration. What can you do with R48 million Hlaudi? I mean really. These people want to treat me like a savage.”

“It is not right Mr. President.” The CEO of the SABC’s checked his watch. “I’m sorry Mr. President. It is getting late and I have another meeting to get to. I need to tell the salary department to give me another raise before they go home.”

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
2 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Terrylin Backpackers
The cheque is in the post

"I hear you are in bond collections. What are the latest excuses people are coming up with these days? I've run out of ideas." Read more...

5 comments 1207 views
Submitted by
Meta
News in the digital age

How do you think that spreading your hate/bigotry and or intolerance helps anybody? Read more...

13 comments 1008 views
Submitted by
Brian Faul
How and why a Dictator is born

One needs to remember looking back in history these hard times is when a dictator is more likely to get born. It is during these hard times that a dictator gets voted into power. Read more...

10 comments 1841 views
Submitted by
Prenisha Naidoo
I will be proactive...

This letter is in response to articles on the death of baby Jamie Naidoo, We have the tendency to be reactive…we wait for something to happen, then suddenly we care, writes a News24 User. Read more...

2 comments 444 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Celebration

Make a list of at least ten things that you can celebrate, and write two or three reasons why you can celebrate those things or events. Read more...

1 comments 157 views
Submitted by
Eric de Castro
Last squeak of the year

 Read more...

13 comments 232 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

HOUSES FOR SALE IN Paarl

Houses R 2 690 000

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

2DAYS ONLY – 30% off Appliances

Coffee makers, blenders, fans, juicers and more. T&Cs apply. Shop now!

2 DAYS ONLY – 40% off books

Get 40% off when you buy 2 books. For two days only! T&Cs apply. Buy now!

Up to 50% off on outdoor gear

Save on chairs, blankets, cooler bags, umbrellas and more. Shop now!

Save on Samsung

Cameras, mobile phones, TVs, Tablets and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Grand Theft Auto 5

Now available on PS4, Xbox One and PC from R649. Buy now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.