MyNews24 is a user-generated section of The stories here come from users.

Kurt Ellis
Comments: 1
Article views: 546
Latest Badges:

View all Kurt Ellis's badges.

The Real Housewives of Nkandla - Episode 7

23 April 2014, 14:27

Jacob Zuma stared at the page in front of him. His brow creased with concentration as a single bead of sweat meandered down his temple. He touched the tip of the pen to the page, then snapped it back. As if his hand got burnt. He bit nervously on the end of it. Mac Maharaj, seeing the tension in the Presidents’ face, decided to see what question in the exam was puzzling him so. Leaning over his shoulder, the Presidential Spokesman saw the cause of the confusion, so he decided to help.

“I will spell it for you sir.” He said. “Z – U – M – A”

The President grinned broadly as he wrote Zuma in the box reserved for his surname. Thereafter, he flew through the rest of the test. And with pride, he slammed his pen down on the desk.

“Done, ahe, ahe.” He reported.

“Good,” responded Mac. “Now let’s go over your answers.” He looked down at the master sheet in front of him. “Question one. True or False. For the amount of money spent on your Nkandla upgrades, 19 primary schools could have been built.” He looked at Zuma expectantly.

The President confidentially leaned back in his chair. “That is easy. The answer is D.”

Silence. Mac Maharaj scrapped his forehead. “I beg your pardon sir.”

“I said, the answer is D.”


“Yes, D.”

“….but Sir. It is a true or false question.”

Zuma laughed. “Oh, I see. My mistake Mac. The answer…is A.”


“Yes, A.”

Mac sighed. “No sir. The answer is true. For the money spent on Nkandla, 19 primary schools at R13 million each could have been built. But let’s move on sir.” He looked down at the master sheet again. “Question 2 is multiple choice. The number of jobs that could have been created for the same amount as the funds spent on Nkandla are a) 1229 Nursing Jobs, b) 1614 Teaching Jobs, c) 2058 Policing Jobs or D) All of the above.”



“Yes Mac, that is my answer. 33%.”

“But…how…there are no… why…” Mac sighed, giving up trying to understand. “No sir, the answer is, all of the above.” Again, he glanced down at sheet in front of him “Next question, for the money spent on Nkandla, 2905 RDP houses could have been built.” He looked at President Zuma. “This is a true or false question sir. And the answer you should have in front of you, should be true.” He smiled. “You know what, Sir. I am going to look away for a minute. Enough time for you to change whatever you wrote down there, to True. Because the answer is true. Anything else is wrong. So write true. Write true.”

With that Mac looked away, but from the corner of his eye, he could see the President frantically scratching out what he wrote and writing down a new answer. When he was done, Mac turned to him and asked. “Okay sir. What is your answer, to the question where true is the correct answer.”

“Ahe, Ahe, Ahe, don’t spool feed me Mac. This one is easy. The answer to whether 2905 RDP houses could have been built with the funds used to build Nkandla is…the square of the hypotenuse of a right angle triangle, which is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.”

“Wha…” Mac could not find the energy to complete his question. His shoulders slouched forward, a man surrendering to defeat.

But at that moment, there was a knock on the door.

“Who’s there?” Zuma called.


“Blade who?”

“Blade Nzimande.”

Zuma turned to Mac. “…I don’t get it.”

“Come in.” Mac called out, exasperated.

The Minister of Higher Education walked into the room in a huff. “Mr. President.” He said. “Have you seen this?” He showed the President the screen of his Ipad, which was on the News24, MyOpinions Page. “It’s called The Real Housewives of Nkandla. It sounds like this man has a recording bug in our offices Sir.”


“Yes Sir.”

“Then just say it is the white people’s lies again. That is our go to response, remember.”

“I know sir, but this one, he is not a white man.”

“Eish,” Zuma said, scratching his head. “Wait. I know.” he smiled. “Get Hlaudi Motsoeneng. Tell him to offer this guy a job at the SABC to write this.”

Blade looked confused. “How will that help?”

“But Blade, you are the minister of Hire Education. The SABC must hire him.”

“No sir. Not that kind of hire. I am…”

“Blade,” Mac interrupted. “That is okay. I will explain it to him. But in the mean time, contact the CEO of the SABC.”

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received. publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
1 comment
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
John Stoltz
Deploy ex ministers to municipali...

Dear Mr Zuma, in any long standing democracy, ex ministers are deployed with success! Read more...

0 comments 160 views
Submitted by
Trudy Mhluli
R 936 million later

The Auditor General, Kimi Makwetu, yesterday in his annual audit report disclosed revealed, and substantiated that close to R 1 billion (that is one thousand million rand) that was spent by government and for that matter the ANC in the financial year 2014/15 can be considered as irregular, unlawful, unauthorised, fruitless and wasteful expenditure. Read more...

0 comments 187 views
Submitted by
Shelly Bowling
The Oscar Pistorius case through ...

By presenting his witness Mrs Estelle van der Merwe Mr Nel attempted to discredit Oscar Pistorius by trying to prove that rather than being a loving couple spending a peaceful evening at home the couple had been engaged in an argument that resulted in OP shooting Reeva in a fit of rage.  Read more...

0 comments 125 views
Submitted by
Kdoggy dog
Illogical impeachment

So, I am reading this impeachment call by the ANC against Helen Zille and it just tells me a few things.  Read more...

0 comments 187 views
Tribute to Dr Robert Sobukwe

Robert Sobukwe’s dream and vision far from being realised and accomplished. Read more...

0 comments 385 views

The difference between Amakhosi and Pirates is not just the colour of our jerseys. Read more...

0 comments 278 views


E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

Interactive Advertising Bureau
© 2015 All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.