PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 13
Article views: 522
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

The Russians have landed!

27 June 2013, 17:47

I have always been *nuuskierig. Eager for knowledge and given to inquiry or research without trying to be improperly curious, or unduly prying, into the affairs of my fellow humans. This story is about one of my “researches” into the unknown.

Maybe you’ve also noticed the adverts to meet Russian girls and Polish ladies on the hallowed pages of News24: “Open the Way to Blondes, Brunettes and Acres of Fun!”     

I decided to ignore the advert for the ladies who do the Polishing and cleaning (are there still people who polish things around the house nowadays?), and concentrate my efforts on the daughters of the **Rooi Gevaar and their “Acres of Fun.”

On the website, AnastasiaDate.com, you can “Meet Russian Women Free.” You start a Trial Offer, receive ***30 Complimentary Credits – and you can Date Now!

This was when I suddenly realized that I’ve lost the plot.

With “340 Ladies Available to Chat Now,” and the promise that “Love Knows no Boundaries,” all I had to do was register (for free) and start using my 30 Complimentary Credits on Elena, Irina, Inna, Valeriya, Albina, Svetlana, Olga, Etcetera, Vita, Oksana, Karina, Tatyana, Alonia, Marina, Etcetera – they all have names ending with the first letter of the alphabet. All 340 of them talking to you at the same time, and you with only 30 Complimentary Credits!!! Wow…

But that’s not all!

Each photograph of the Russian girls carries a short description: “Never married lady with brown eyes and chestnut hair. Never married lady with blue eyes and blond hair. Never married lady with gray eyes and brown hair. Never married lady with green eyes and red hair. Never married lady with red eyes and no hair.” And so on…

Not a word about their cooking, dish-washing, lawn mowing, bed making, light-bulb changing, housekeeping, or child raising abilities. But, I suppose that’s not important right now.

You also have the choice of sorting your search results by:

·         Beautiful ladies first

·         Latest entries first

·         Age descending or ascending

·         Good-humored ladies first

I find this extremely odd. Are there really people out there who would want to chat to the oldest, ugliest, cantankerous crones the Russians have on offer?

The mind boggles.

But then, just before I finally registered and crossed the line into the world of virtual cyber-adultery, I read this short endorsement of the Russian girls, by someone called John M:

You have a great site and your professionalism is fabulous. My best wishes to you all for this holiday season. Sincerely, John M, December 2009.”

Three and a Half years ago! And no one has complimented the Russian girls since then!

I googled “John M” and found that it was none other than John Major – the oldest living former British Prime Minister – a has-been politician and son of a circus performer. You cannot trust a politician or a clown; so I’m not signing up and allowing the Russians to land on our polluted shores! No soiree, Bob!

I was foiled! And this by an old man who once had an extramarital affair with a woman named Edwina. (Notice her name also ends with an “a.”)

So, thanks to John, my chances of chatting to 340 Russian girls – and enjoying their Acres of Fun – died a premature death.

Damn!

*nuuskierig – from Afrikaans, meaning: inquisitive, with a rubber neck

**Rooi Gevaar – Russians

***Complimentary Credits – free Russian condoms

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
13 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
MSithole
I remember my atheist friend

I had a friend. He said he had now changed into an atheist. I asked him why he had become an atheist when there is overwhelming evidence in the systems of life which we cannot explain fully.  Read more...

87 comments 961 views
Submitted by
Buntu Gotywa
Bafana Bafana

I have to say Mr Mashaba is brave man judging by his first Bafana Bafana selection.  Read more...

1 comments 47 views
Submitted by
Tracy Scheepers
A Facebook Sabbatical

What would life be without a love hate relationship that we could not live with or without? Read more...

5 comments 52 views
Submitted by
Pierre Willemse
Rugby 4 Nations: ARG vs SA - 23 A...

The main reason given for the low scoring first game between the Springboks and Argentina was the inclement weather which made handling the ball very difficult. Read more...

0 comments 127 views
Submitted by
Gideon Joubert
Fixing the Firearms Control Act

The Firearms Control Act of 2000, which was forced upon the SAPS and South African gun owners, is clearly not working the way its architects intended it to.  Read more...

45 comments 1311 views
Submitted by
ChiefDavid
Does South Africa need military/s...

The role of the SANDF is always misunderstood by many people especially people who are not part of the Defence force. Read more...

12 comments 593 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

20% off all TV Series!

Want to have a chilled day at home? Get 20% off TV series, the perfect excuse to "veg out". Shop now!

Save R700 on the Hisense LED TV Now R2499

Get the Hisense 32” HD ready LED TV for only R2499. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 40% off fashion accessories

Save up to 40% on selected handbags, purses, watches, jewellery and more. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

Save up to R2000 on top electronics

Get every day mind bowing savings on top electronics. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

As seen on TV - New book releases at only R199 each

Get mind blowing book savings on new titles. Offer valid while stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.