PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Irukandji
 
Comments: 13
Article views: 529
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Irukandji's badges.
 

The Russians have landed!

27 June 2013, 17:47

I have always been *nuuskierig. Eager for knowledge and given to inquiry or research without trying to be improperly curious, or unduly prying, into the affairs of my fellow humans. This story is about one of my “researches” into the unknown.

Maybe you’ve also noticed the adverts to meet Russian girls and Polish ladies on the hallowed pages of News24: “Open the Way to Blondes, Brunettes and Acres of Fun!”     

I decided to ignore the advert for the ladies who do the Polishing and cleaning (are there still people who polish things around the house nowadays?), and concentrate my efforts on the daughters of the **Rooi Gevaar and their “Acres of Fun.”

On the website, AnastasiaDate.com, you can “Meet Russian Women Free.” You start a Trial Offer, receive ***30 Complimentary Credits – and you can Date Now!

This was when I suddenly realized that I’ve lost the plot.

With “340 Ladies Available to Chat Now,” and the promise that “Love Knows no Boundaries,” all I had to do was register (for free) and start using my 30 Complimentary Credits on Elena, Irina, Inna, Valeriya, Albina, Svetlana, Olga, Etcetera, Vita, Oksana, Karina, Tatyana, Alonia, Marina, Etcetera – they all have names ending with the first letter of the alphabet. All 340 of them talking to you at the same time, and you with only 30 Complimentary Credits!!! Wow…

But that’s not all!

Each photograph of the Russian girls carries a short description: “Never married lady with brown eyes and chestnut hair. Never married lady with blue eyes and blond hair. Never married lady with gray eyes and brown hair. Never married lady with green eyes and red hair. Never married lady with red eyes and no hair.” And so on…

Not a word about their cooking, dish-washing, lawn mowing, bed making, light-bulb changing, housekeeping, or child raising abilities. But, I suppose that’s not important right now.

You also have the choice of sorting your search results by:

·         Beautiful ladies first

·         Latest entries first

·         Age descending or ascending

·         Good-humored ladies first

I find this extremely odd. Are there really people out there who would want to chat to the oldest, ugliest, cantankerous crones the Russians have on offer?

The mind boggles.

But then, just before I finally registered and crossed the line into the world of virtual cyber-adultery, I read this short endorsement of the Russian girls, by someone called John M:

You have a great site and your professionalism is fabulous. My best wishes to you all for this holiday season. Sincerely, John M, December 2009.”

Three and a Half years ago! And no one has complimented the Russian girls since then!

I googled “John M” and found that it was none other than John Major – the oldest living former British Prime Minister – a has-been politician and son of a circus performer. You cannot trust a politician or a clown; so I’m not signing up and allowing the Russians to land on our polluted shores! No soiree, Bob!

I was foiled! And this by an old man who once had an extramarital affair with a woman named Edwina. (Notice her name also ends with an “a.”)

So, thanks to John, my chances of chatting to 340 Russian girls – and enjoying their Acres of Fun – died a premature death.

Damn!

*nuuskierig – from Afrikaans, meaning: inquisitive, with a rubber neck

**Rooi Gevaar – Russians

***Complimentary Credits – free Russian condoms

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.

 

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
13 comments
Comments have been closed for this article.

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
James Jimbo Nesbit
Why SA is using professional spor...

Transformation, the crux of South African sport for more than 20 years. But why has it taken so long to change? Read more...

0 comments 741 views
Submitted by
Khaya Tyatya
Open letter to Jacques Kallis

“Influential, reliable, best all-rounder and one of the greats of the game”. These are some of the words that have been used by well-known cricketers around the globe to describe you.  Read more...

0 comments 1330 views
Submitted by
Jason van Schalkwyk
My opinion on Mbalula "made the r...

As with most debates, both side's arguments have merit and the argument given by each side is most likely to achieve that side's particular objective. Read more...

0 comments 312 views
Submitted by
Michael Mayer
Freedom Day 2016

For the Constitution to be effective we need to be receptive. For the Constitution to be effective we need to be generous, noble, brave, willing to change, merciful and just, writes Michael Mayer.  Read more...

0 comments 29 views
Submitted by
Dr Johann Serfontein
NHI Fund Doomed to Fail

One of the principles of the NHI is the creation of a single payer mechanism, or NHI Fund. Read more...

0 comments 566 views
Submitted by
Stannich Makiele
Inside the mind of an ANC support...

I’m not as proud as I would like to be of the ANC especially the current president but it is the only option I have for now.  Read more...

0 comments 881 views
 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on Android Get the latest from News24 on your Android device.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

TV Get us in your home, on your television.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2016 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.