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Adeniyi Haruna Lawal
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The Six types of friend one needs to have around.

21 January 2014, 13:09
JUST like a band or gang of superheroes

needs members who have different talents

and powers, a circle of friends should have

exactly the same thing.

"It's important to have diversity and to be

able to look for support from a variety of

sources," says clinical and coaching

psychologist and founder of the The Positivity

Institute, Dr. Suzy Green. "They also help us

to keep broader perspective on life."

Domonique Bertolucci, life coach and author

of The Happiness Code , agrees.

"You need different types of friends in the

same way that you need food from different

food groups. Different types of friends serve

different purposes and nourish and enrich

our lives in different ways."

While many of us are lucky to count our real

friends on one hand, there are certain types

of people it?s good to have around. So, how

many do you know?


The world changes quickly and some people

are just that little bit better at keeping up

with what's hip than we are. Like those

friends who know that NO ONE EVER says

"hip" any more, for instance. We like to be

around these people, because they're a

beacon of cool. Cool things just flock to them.

These are the people who help you to open

your eyes, have a flow-on effect for

introducing you to other cool people and help

to unstick yourself from the rut that's all too

easy to get bogged in. "These people enrich

your life by exposing you to things that may

have otherwise have passed you by," says



People are busy, we get it. But there's

nothing more frustrating than having to

reschedule your re-re-re-scheduled catch-up.

Everyone needs a friend who you can call at

the drop of a hat. A friend who says "hell

yeah, I'm up for that". That's why it's good to

have a mate who you don't need to issue a

28-day notice to just to meet for a

frappuccino. It's refreshing (the friend, that

is, not necessarily the frappuccino.) "This

friend is the flexible, no frills friend who

makes your life a breeze. Nothing is ever too

hard and they're open to doing new things

and changing plans at short notice,? says Dr.

Green. While Bertolucci agrees, "Their

enthusiasm is contagious and you always

have more fun when they are around."


Oprah Winfrey once said: "Surround yourself

with only people who are going to lift you

higher". And we all need to live life a little

bit closer to Oprah. These people challenge

you to be the best version of yourself. The

only downside is that sometimes they can be

infuriating and inspiring in equal measure.

Dr. Green's advice: "This friend is only an

important role model if they behave in ways

that are authentic and genuine. They will see

the best in you and give you important

feedback on both your strengths and




We like integration. We like killing two birds

with one stone by catching up with several

groups of friends at once. But there are times

when you need to make an S.O.S call to a

friend who is completely uninvolved and

removed from a situation who can offer

objective advice so it a bonus that your

friendship exists without orbiting around

your other ones. "There is a level of privacy

to this friendship that doesn't exist in

friendship circles,? says Bertolucci. ?It will be

easier to share some of your hopes and

dreams, fears and concerns knowing that

they are not going to be discussed when

you're not around.?


An honest friend will not always tell you what

you want to hear, but they'll certainly tell you

what you need to know like if he/she is really

that into you. When you've got a crisis on

your hands or need to make a quick decision

they are your go-to. They're also there to

keep you away from mixing paisleys and

stripes. This type of friend has the strength of

"feedback" and "is a pearl who will tell it to

you straight when others won't or will

sugarcoat things at the very least," says Dr.

Green. But she warns that this friend is

someone who does it with good intentions

and for your own benefit.



History. Sometimes it works to your

advantage, other times it doesn't. This is that

friend who sees you out of the context of

your job, your relationship, your other

friends and your life as it is now. This is the

friend who knew you when you had pimples

and a bowl cut. There is something special

about this person because they feel like

home. It's nice and comforting to be around

someone who has known you forever. "This is

a friend you never have to put on a brave

face for,? says Bertolucci. ?They know you

better than you know yourself and accept you

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