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R.Phiri
 
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The Ten Political Commandments.

14 November 2011, 12:01
1. We are the Politicians your Gods, who brought you out of the land service delivery, out of the house of monogamy. You shall have no other politicians before us.

2. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in the Politicians above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For us, the politicians  your Gods are jealous Politicians, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing poor service delivery to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.

3. You shall not take the name of the President your God in vain, for politicians will not hold him guiltless who takes their name in vain.

4. “Remember the election day, to keep it ANC. Six days you shall labour and do all your voting, but the seventh day is the election of the president your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days Politicians made corruption and bribery, poor service delivery, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day.

5. Honour your politicians, that your suffering may be long upon the land which politicians your Gods are giving you.

6. You shall murder those opposing the Information Bill.

7. You shall commit polygamy; the president has made provision for it.

8. You shall not steal, will do that for you.

9. You shall bear false witness against our neigbouring parties.

10. You shall covet your neighbour’s land; you shall cover with their wives, his male servant, his female servant, his bicycle, car, and anything that is his.

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