The Evil Atheist Conspiracy (or EAC) is a diabolical group of misfit
minorities Satanists who worship the God known as Athe. (Some sects are also known to worship a certain food type of the Italian Pasta variety known only as the mystic FSM)
These Evil followers are believed to have infiltrated many government sects and will one day take over the world enforcing their slanderous doctrines of secular equality and evil liberal agendas. In one foul sweep these followers of Athe (or the HOLY FSM) will destroy everything good, proper and holy in the world. Babies too!!!
The EAC was founded in the year 666BC when a group of people fed up with the belief in God’s, Jesus, Santa, The Tooth Fairy and all other loveable children’s characters, met with Athe’s son, R’amen, who help them vehemently deny all exist of deity’s – or die! Once this concept was digested, these newly formed atheists sought to spread
The Good News the reality to their neighbours but were met with hostility and immediately accused of being evil. Since evil sounded kind of fun, they went with it.
To this day the EAC have quietly assumed power in most countries in the world besides Indonesia, The Middle East, The Unites States and South Africa. They have also formed various sects such as the Woman’s Institute and
the Illuminati the Dan Brown Book Club to hide the realities of their nefarious plans.
Perhaps the most insidious of all the EAC’s plots is the removal of all morality from the world and since it is a well-known fact (postulated by the Xtians) that all morality comes from religion, it is only fair to state that this conspiracy aims to eradicate religion everywhere!!
This was exemplified in the rampages of the Atheist Massacres of 1984, when Richard Dawkins went on a machete killing spree unto hundreds of concerned parents screaming “KILL KILL KILL FOR THE LOVE OF THE SELFISH GENE!!” Christopher Hitchens flew a plane into St. Peters Basilica shouting “GOD is not great! AND
MUHAMMED RICHARD DAWKINS IS HIS PROPHET" and Isaac Asimov went around raping and murdering school children because "THERE'S NO GOD TO STOP ME NOW MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Vicious bastards.
In the later years many atheists have tried to cover up a lot of their evil wrong doings of the past by blaming it all on misinterpretation of Athe’s message. A clear and dubious attempt at trying to remain active in a world that is slowly but surely regressing back to a stage where Eden, peace, morality and love was propagated by religion - Especially in the Renaissance and the Crusades.
For educational purposes here is a list of all known evil societies bent on taking over the world. This is thanks to an investigation conducted by Fox News.
Aliens, Assassin’s Creed, Apple, Bohemian Grove, The Cabal, Environmentalist Lobby, the European Union, The EAC, The Evil Adolf Hitler Clone Society, The International House of Pancakes, the International Mad Scientist Convention, International Monetary Fund, Judaism, Kittens, Large Hadron Collider, Microsoft, North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, World Health Organisation, The United Nations, Dan Brown, Templars, Facebook, Dan Brown’s Parents, The Democratic Party, Dan Brown’s Ancestors and YOU!!! Truly shocking, shocking stuff.
Many Think-Tank organisations, Fox News in particular have suggested that the EAC are a cover organisation for non-other than the Radical Gay Movement. These horrid accusations have since been disproven when it was leaked that the EAC had funded Fox News’ research in the first place. However more sources now conclude that the EAC are also in charge of channelling news here on our very own News24. A reality that leaves this writer sceptical of even his own claims…
May the Father of
Understanding R’amen Guide us Brothers.
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