Choosing a gift for a man is a notoriously difficult thing, even more so when he is a successful businessman/politician at the peak of his career. As much as you try and convince yourself that 12-month subscription of Golf Digest would suffice - or even a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black - you just feel like you are falling short.
You can therefore fully sympathise with the Mudzi wa Vhurereli ha Vhavenda, a lobby group of traditional leaders and healers, who were having their inaugural meeting with the SABC’s new COO Hlaudi Motsoeneng. Wanting to give him something traditional, yet practical, they decided upon gifts that would be befitting of a man described as…"committed to his job and someone who understands the strategic objectives of the SABC".
The first 2 gifts were fairly simple to choose – a cow and a calf. One can only imagine that the hardest part would have been choosing colours, but it appeared they stuck with a traditional palette and went with russet-coloured livestock. For their 3rd gift they thought long and hard, fortunately remaining sensitive to the fact that bequeathing a wife is quite a personal choice, and decisions couldn’t be based on such superficial things.
As summarized by Mudzi executive secretary Humbelani Nemakonde, "The girls were around 10 and they paraded for him to choose. He chose the one he liked. All the girls were there with their parents. Their parents knew what was going to happen and they all agreed." The lucky winner , a 23-year-old human resources management student, was proudly pictured bare-breasted in the newspaper along with him and their new cattle shortly afterwards, ready to start their happily-ever-after.
As one can only rightly assume, Juju was horrified that he had not yet been given a wife, and quickly issued the following statement:
“It cannot be that women are seen and exchanged as gifts. Essentially there is no difference between Hlaudi Motsoeneng and Boko Haram” Malema said on Friday. “Like Boko Haram, Motsoeneng does not respect women, their choice and treats them like objects in a pursuit to satisfy narrow personal interests.”
Julius’ feelings towards Hlaudi are well publicised, as he struggles to accept that he is no longer No.1’s
puppet Number 1. Previously, in a moment of eloquence, he told Hlaudi that "Zuma will dump you like a used condom”, and referred to him as Zuma's puppet. No hard feelings there then.
So when you are struggling to get that perfect gift for the man in your life, maybe it's time to broaden your horizons, and think about a gift that will just keep on giving.