The government has things backwards.
With the liquor laws coming into effect in the Western
Cape, and possibly spreading like a cancer to Gauteng, I'd like to take a
moment to voice my concerns.
I suspect one of the problems are that we don't quite
know what the problem is.
Why were these laws deemed necessary? Who woke up
one morning and thought: "No, I'm not going to buy a bottle of Jack on a
Sunday, and neither is anybody else!".
One can only speculate, but I'd like to propose a few of
the likely candidates, and offer a solution more likely to appease the general
public than the burnt offering we currently have to chew on.
1. Work on a Monday is Tough With a Hangover:. Well, yes,
but if you are banned from buying Happy Juice on a Sunday, you'll likely buy
Happy Juice on a Sunday, from a shebeen. Or on Saturday, from a Spar. Problem
2. Sunday is a Day of Rest, and Being Merry is Not
Restful Behavior. If we had to observe each religion's Holy Days,
we'd be a very unproductive, miserable society. So why only one religion? Our
constitution makes allowances for people to practise their religions without
interference, but they're not allowed to force other people to join in. Thus,
the law is unconstitutional and therefore irrelevant.
3. People Are Selling Alcohol From Their Houses and
That's Bad!! How is having 500 bottles of Gin in my home going to cause the
Rapture exactly? And how is the government going to enforce their silly law?
Door to door checks? Are we going to invite Mr. Const. van Zyl in to count the
wine bottles in our wine racks? Nope. Law ignored then.
I've mulled this matter over some stroh rum, and
have come to the conclusion that indeed, the government has things backwards;
instead of coming up with pointless laws that inconvenience and make criminals
of 90% of the population, wouldn't it be easier to deal with the 10% that
We already know who they are: you'll find them driving
backwards down the M1 on Sunday afternoon, weaving all sorts of patterns in the
tar. This means Const. van Zyl won't have to go door to door to find perps.
And how do we fix these miscreants? Easy: punish them so
badly for screwing up (i.e. driving drunk), that nobody would take the risk
anymore. Take his car and license away, and give them to a disadvantaged chap
who'd love a new Polo.
Strap him to a Police van and see how fast he can run.
Seems like a fashionable thing to do, and why not? If that was the punishment,
I'd make sure to phone up GoodPeople to come and fetch me when I'm drunk at the
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