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The hell I won’t!

26 April 2013, 11:00

I remember an old John Wayne movie (McLintock?) in which he says: “I won’t, I won’t. The hell I won’t!” and then proceeds to beat up the bad guy.

Eskom is once again urging households to use electricity sparingly. According to Eskom CEO Brian Dames, supply constraints are expected to put the national grid under “considerable” strain.

Household peak demand – between 5pm and 9pm – was expected to rise by an additional 3 000MW to 38 000 MW, putting Eskom’s grid under severe strain.

Reasons? Maintenance work at Koeberg and nine other units, inadequate supply from Mozambique, poor quality coal sourced for the Tutuka power station in Mpumalanga, spanner in the generator, car’s battery is flat, yadda-yadda, blah-blah.

Every year we hear the same old story from people who are just hopelessly incompetent and should never have been put in charge of an essential national asset, such as electricity.

It is a well known fact that hundreds of thousands of people get free electricity through illegal connections – ask any electrician who works for your local municipality. Ask the illegals to cut down – don’t come crying to me!

I have always paid for electricity. In turn I expect a well maintained system, NO power cuts due to lack of planning for an increase in usage, competent people working for Eskom, etc, etc.

I don’t believe that, if everyone uses electricity sparingly, it will solve the problem. It will simply prolong the agony. Like an old horse – suffering from various ailments – it has to be put down with a merciful bullet. Put out of its misery, so to speak.

Now let me put on my John Wayne hat.

*Puts hat on*

Eskom: “Use electricity sparingly.”

Irukandji: “I won’t, I won’t. The hell I won’t! You’ll have to pry the switch from my cold dead fingers!”

Ride past my home at night – you will recognise it by the sound of the high pitched whine of the wheel inside my KWh meter; the light streaming from ALL the windows; the steam coming from the overflow pipes to all THREE geysers (set at their highest temperature settings); heaters glowing in every room; and ear shattering dance music from my expensive hi-fi.

In short, to the uninitiated, my house will bear a strong resemblance to the Titanic just before she plunged into the dark depths of the sea.

So, my call to all of the *legal passengers aboard this sinking ship we know as the SAS Zumania, let us go down with all flags flying and all switches on. Let’s have a farewell ball!

*legal passengers – those who pay for electricity

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