PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
ZION
 
Comments: 4
Article views: 0
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all ZION's badges.
 

The rugby gods and doggerel

14 September 2012, 15:15

THE RUGBY GODS AND DOGGEREL   

And so it came to pass in the heavens above and below in Hades: The lesser Gods demanded their port folios be extended to the arenas of sports in all its aspects and they shall govern, at higher pay and lesser work.These honourable  gods decided first, to change all the laws of their portfolios to give all sides  more advantage than the other sides.  

And so it was done:   The off-sides law were  scrapped.  An up-and-under may not be higher than 5 metres And should such an infringement occur both sides will have points deducted. Forward passes are legal but may not  be used more than 3 times by a team on the attack. The team on defence may use the forward pass at their own discretion but not more than 5 times.  A kick to the poles may only be undertaken   when the preceding try was touched down under the cross pole.  Should a penalty kick fail to cross the poles the 3 points will be awarded to the opposition.   

In the interests of saving money the rugby world cup will no longer be played in its current format but the winner will be that team which scores the most points over every 4 year period. In this period, spanning 4 years, every team shall play at least 19 other teams as defined by the Rugby Gods.No spectator whatsoever may wear a shirt or Jersey akin to that of any team playing on the field at that time. Spectators shall support both teams  on the field in order to rule out the possibility of  protracted inter-spectator warfare  All rugby referees and aspiring referees shall undergo a 5year mandatory and intensive training period in order to discard ancient rules of the game and accept and understand the newest and latest rules of the game. Firearms, hand grenades and other forms of  weaponry may not be brought to within 500metres of a rugby stadium. Vuvuzelas and other noisy and obnoxious articles may not be brought into the precincts of any rugby stadium.  Any such articles will be destroyed on site and the bearer/owner shall face a mandatory 2 months in a prison.     

During the 4year run-up to the Rugby World Cup awards no strong team shall play a weaker team thereby gaining extra milch-cow points. The playing roster will be worked out by the Rugby Gods. Teams failing to abide by this regulation shall lose all its points and relegated to the bottom position on the log.    

National anthems may not be sung on the rugby field prior to the kick-off of any game. An anthem approved by the Rugby Gods shall be sung at the commencement of every game other than school rugby games.    

Any referee who makes a mistake during the progress of the game shall pay a mandatory fine of not more than R20-00.    

Any referee who makes a mistake which gives the preferred team an advantage shall be sent to South Africa. The deity of rugby shall decide which is the preferred team.

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
4 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
PeterTracey
Decisions, decisions

Some things are not as easy as they seem. Read more...

0 comments 195 views
Submitted by
James Matoma
Bafana is a national embarrassmen...

How can the minister of sports and recreation, Fikile Mbalula, claim that he was satisfied with Bafana Bafana’s performance? Read more...

14 comments 565 views
Submitted by
Kalibanache
Clive Derby-Lewis and the rest of...

Forgive. Forgive me, forgive other people. Forgive is to forget, otherwise you have not forgotten.  Read more...

14 comments 540 views
Africa must break from negative n...

Despite decades of conflict, death and tragedy, coverage of issues in Africa has often been ignored, oversimplified, or excessively focused on limited aspects. Read more...

11 comments 338 views
Submitted by
Amaps
Let the Chuch be the help to the ...

So disappointing how the "church" which claims to be the body of Christ, its not as it should be, its operated like a corporate company. Read more...

127 comments 716 views
Submitted by
MarkH
South Africa: The reality show

I see a tendency – just love that word – developing lately of the regime – another old favourite – to spread far and wide as much confusion as possible, all involving spending my money, of course. Read more...

5 comments 429 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Valentine’s Day gifts – 14 Feb!

Gifts to spoil him and her. While stocks last. Shop now!

Games on Sale!

Save up to 60% on selected games. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off All Textbooks

Save up to 30% off an extensive range of prescribed textbooks for all major universities and FET colleges. Shop Now!

Save up to 40% on outdoor accessories!

Tents, sleeping, day packs and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off fragrances

Get 30% off fragrances for him and her. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.