Hi there President Zuma, hope you don’t mind me being just a bit informal but I do believe this fits in well with the new, improved South Africa which you
rule govern. African time, African traditions, BEE, AA and all that, you know.
I thought that I might just engage with you – a sort of question and answer thing - via this forum as I believe that you are well read, well informed and well
endowed versed in gauging what the public wants.
In other words you are the man and should thus be able to assist me with my queries.
I was walking about in our little shopping centre this morning and one of my fellow citizens approached me, requesting that I give him some money as business is bad and he is not selling many Chinese toys and trinkets lately. He seemed quite despondent so I paused and spoke to him.
When further pressed he told me that there seems to be no money around, that a couple of years back he could easily make a couple of hundred bucks a week but nowadays he’s not earning enough to feed himself.
I was quite taken aback by this revelation as you recently stated that you and your government had improved the lives of all South Africans and this prompted me to ask him why this should be – that there’s apparently no money around. I must inform you that he had no answer to this.
This led to my wondering if perhaps you’ve been a touch conservative with the truth about where all the money has gone.
I know that each and every day we read about his one being accused of corruption, that one being caught awarding tenders to wives and family and even though I know you can’t be everywhere and are not personally responsible for the conduct of your appointees, something just doesn’t seem right. I mean, why would this citizen want me to support him when you are already supporting, through your sterling efforts, everybody and then some?
You are a family man and thus must be aware of how difficult it’s become to house, clothe, educate and feed ones offspring and wives, not so?
In any event, my answer to the concerned citizen was a tad flippant I’m afraid as when he waved some of his wares under my nose, with a tear in his eye, I told him that I had also noticed the lack of money but had assumed it had all gone into the building of your
castle compound homestead.
My reply I must be honest was probably because I’ve for so long now been indoctrinated by those devils in the media that I no longer feel pity, or empathy, for fellow sufferers. Do you feel the same?
On the good news front, I read this morning that Jackie Selebi had been spotted out and about doing a spot of shopping and this really gladdened my heart.
I had been under the obviously mistaken impression that the poor fellow was at death’s door, together with that other poor sacrificial lamb “shabby” Shaik, and this means that he will soon no doubt be back in office and able to begin settling his legal fees. Really good news this as nobody deserves to die leaving debts for family and friends to settle, wouldn’t you agree?
Speaking of debts, I did notice that those evil people in the DA have now acknowledged that they paid for the outrageous signage which suddenly appeared along the freeways denouncing your party for further impoverishing the people by attempting to tax them for driving on said freeways.
This really shocked me as everyone knows that without taxes, tolls, duties, VAT, income tax and so on and so forth you and your hard-working comrades would be unable to further improve the lives of all of us South Africans. How dare they?
Perhaps you should take a leaf out of comrade Robert’s book and ban these agents and their party.
I mean, really, what is to become of us if you cannot use our money to benefit us all? Heresy I say and off with their heads!
In closing I would like to ask you something that I have pondered over for some time.
You stated a while back that the ANC would rule until Jesus comes and I would like to know when this will be.
Will it happen in 2014, a fairly auspicious time I would think, or will it be after my time here is over?
Perhaps you meant forever as some say Jesus doesn’t exist, or perhaps you were just being clever and nobody caught your wit.
Would you please clear this up for me as my funds will not last forever and if it’s going to be sooner rather than later then perhaps I should go out again, find that poor citizen, give him my remaining few cents and buy one of his plastic mugs.
This would mean that he could eat again whereas I have food in my house and probably don’t deserve food whilst he is suffering anyway.
After all, I am just an old man with a job who didn’t vote for you whilst he, a relatively young and strong individual, no doubt did and that just seems unfair, would you not agree?
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