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Nomcebo Kubheka
 
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The worries of this life

20 March 2013, 14:00

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. - Corrie ten Boom”

Lately I’ve been worrying about the most absurd thing ever, will I ever walk down the aisle.  I guess that question is on my mind because according to me, right now the perfect man should have come already, I should have met him already, swoop me off my feet and me on cloud nine, that’s how I pictured my life as a kid. But that is not how it’s happening and that worried me, so much so that I was depressed, because it just didn’t make sense why I wasn’t getting what I had planned, why I wasn’t where I had planned. I had to look at my life, I had to look at the choices I had made and then I saw, I am where I am because of the choices that I have made, for me to change where I want to be tomorrow I need to make better choices today.

I revisited my yesterday, had a look at my past and leant that this is what I had lacked:

Choices

Yes we’ve heard it all before over and over again, what you sow is what you will reap, we tend not to believe this until we get old and the older I get the more I realise the mistakes that I have made, and can I undo them? Unfortunately not. I can’t make right the wrongs of yesterday, but I can make right tomorrow by choosing to do what will be good for me so I don’t have to regret.

The choices that we make have consequences unfortunately, and some of the consequences can never be prayed, fasted or blamed away, they are there to remind you every day that you screwed up, that you could have made a better choice, that you could have done something better.

I look at those choices every day and say damn, I could have done better, I could have chosen better, oh but when you are young and naïve all that you do can be justified but when you are old and wise you wish someone could have given you a smack in the head when you thought you had it all together, when you thought you were the ish, when you thought you were going to be young forever.  

I sometimes envy people who made all the right choices at the right time, but I envy them to a certain limit, because each day I grow and had I not made the choices that I had made, good or bad I would not be where I am, a sense of gratitude always arises in me. I am where I need to be, but tomorrow I plan to be in an even better place.

Planning

But here’s something we tend to take for granted, planning, oh we think life will just happened. Here’s some news flash, life just doesn’t happen, you need to sit down and plan reasonably. What makes people fail sometimes is not the lack of planning, but the plans that they have are just not realistic enough, when you jot down a plan, be realistic, be reasonable. Don’t plan to be the next billionaire in 5 years’ time and you don’t even have a savings account, be realistic. I’m not saying there’s something wrong in being hopeful, but when planning always remember where you are and if where you want to be is realistic enough.

Time Frame

Set a time frame for your planning, how long it will take you to get where you need to go, again I emphasize, be realistic, know the difference between short term and long term goals. Jot it down, I know it sounds a lot if you don’t like writing, but what do you have to lose, it’s your future that you are planning.  Yes there will be ups and downs, things won’t always go your way, plan anyways have a time frame and push towards something.

I’ve seen a lot of people walking away from their dreams, because they feel it’s just not happening for them, they start comparing themselves to other people who have achieved the same goal at a shorter period, I believe when it’s your turn to shine, it will be your turn to shine.

Just don’t give up on your hearts longing, pursue it, chase it till you are breathless, and search for it until you can find it. Forget what everyone else is getting, this is about you, you chasing your dreams, you finding your calling, you realising your potential and you living your life to the best that you can live . Just don’t give up.

Live your life

Finally just live your life. I’ve had so many people telling me how to do life, how to be me.  When I was young I use to listen, I used to do life the way people expected me to do life. But I got old, I learnt life is not about living of on someone else’s truth, it’s about finding your own truth and living that truth, stop allowing people to dictate your life, as cliché as this will sound you have only this one life and if you going to live it to please people than that’s just a tragic, you just wasted an amazing life, a life that could have been well lived, a life that is yours.

So search within yourself, find your strength and follow your dreams, you might not succeed at first attempt, but just don’t give up until you succeed.

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