A recent article - 'The Ways to Delay the Signs of Ageing' - advised those of us who are getting on a bit, to wear sunscreen, stay hydrated, not smoke, drink less and exercise regularly. I thought this applied to all ages, but there you go.
The indomitable Iru commented - Delay the signs of ageing. Why? And, Merry Martin - Beats the hell our of the alternative. Grow old disgracefully wherever possible.
So, we will choose a sedentary lifestyle until we are bored to death or whoop it up, if we so please.
Many moons ago, my Nan opened the fridge door and asked: "Now what did I come in here for? What are my spectacles doing in there? I was looking for my knitting."
I giggled and thought she was ancient, but she was around the same age as I am now. Although the younger generation may think, 'Ag Shame', as I did then, ageing really isn't that bad.
Here are my ten beneficial signs of ageing:
1. I no longer care what people think or say about me.
2. I worry only when I have to.
3. I choose selective hearing.
4. I say no and mean it without further explanation.
5. I have endless patience.
6. People move out of the way as I stroll through the Mall looking for a Zimmer Frame and wondering why the dickens I can't find one.
7. I accept that I will never wave a flag from the summit of Mt. Kilimanjaro. But, if I wanted to I would have done so already.
8. I no longer have to shave my legs everyday.
9. The SABC gives discount on a TV licence. So do banks and hairdressers.
10. I can't remember.
It's totes amazeballs when I learn new words, like sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia , which means brain freeze after the consumption of ice-cream. I also like to think of this as forgetfulness which applies to all ages. Awks, I know. Soz.
I live with SM, who is twelve years younger than I. There are opinions about Cougars, but please refer to No 1.
SM is forever misplacing his three 'phones, wallet and keys. Eight years ago, I flapped about like a headless chicken searching for the said items. Now, whenever he says: "Have you seen my ....?" I opt for No 2. And 3. And 4.
When SM forgets the grocery list and is searching for goodness knows what, he 'phones: "What do we need?"
"Bread, milk, toilet paper, chops and ice-cream," I recite from memory.
"I'll have to 'phone you back. I'll never remember all that," is SM's reply. On his return: "I forgot the ice-cream and it was the most important item."
I now remember No 10. I could never be called as a witness for a murder trial, say, because I would evidently be asked: "What did you see or hear between 8h23 and 9h47 on the 13th April 2012?", bearing in mind that we are now in June 2014.
The Court is unlikely to be amused if I stammered: "I can't remember what I had for dinner last night, Your Honour." I also can't remember if it is Your Honour or My Honour. I keep on meaning to as but then I forget.
According to Susan Boyle, her age is just one side of her. Yebo!
SM and I are off to the Keg to whoop it up. We will not make a spectacle of ourselves though. Now, where are my spectacles? No use asking SM. There, they aren't.
I'm sure I have more to add. Let me think for a moment.
No, nothing, I'm afraid.