PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Jeeves
 
Comments: 31
Article views: 1779
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Jeeves's badges.
 

This article has been selected as an Editor’s Choice report. Articles are selected based on quality of writing, audience response, newsworthiness and originality, and is at the discretion of the MyNews24 editors.

They see me rollin...

10 July 2012, 12:16
So I walk into this Wigga store where whiteys can bling themselves out with fabulous rapper gear.The mission is to buy myself this kief Adidas watch (99 bucks dude!).

While I'm donning my newly acquired time peace and admiring the way it makes my muscles look bigger, my eye falls on the most testosteronetastic jacket ever manufactured by the hands of Asian workers!

I slowly approach aforementioned jacket, hoping beyond hope that it isn't one of those 'nice from far ' situations and lo and behold my luck holds out.

This thing is cool man, and I mean cooool! It has flair, but not kitch like PEP flair or Fabulous like Cape Town flair, no. This jacket has that 'Playa' look about it.

I quickly grab the thing and gooi it on before stepping to the mirror.

Suddenly I am transported back to the eighties, where the middle upper class kids in school could afford those cool jackets with the square shoulders that required a flickable 'kuif' (A fringe, like Justin Bieber has...lol). Back then, one of those jackets would turn the heavily hairsprayed head of any hottie in your direction.

But I was poor and didn't have a 'kuif' so I maar had to settle for an el cheapo bomber jacket with that dayglo orange vibe on the inside.

Back to 2012, me in front of the mirror in the wigger shop, feeling like a boss! (Pronounced 'Bause' to the uninformed).

My wife delivers her "Very cool" verdict and it's a done deal! She even pats me on the butt as I walk away... I'm like "Nou praat jy!"

I don't even take the thing off. I walk straight to the counter and chune the oke "how much". He chunes "Seeks feefty" and I'm like "Bahgain!"

I step out of the shop and into the street (No dahling, it wosn't the mohl of Rrrosebahnk), Black dudes check me out and gooi the old 'respect' nod, I'm like "yeah baby, test one passed!"

The true test awaits when I hit whitey territory around the corner. You see, black dudes will aknowledge your swag a lot quicker than white dudes will. Whiteys will chuck you in the Bieber box if your clothes are testosterone deficient and you DO NOT want to go into the Bieber box!

Anyhoo...

I turn into our little Pick 'n Pay where die boere buy their braai spices and other assorted weapons of mass carnivoration. Down an isle to grab my stock of assorted Aromat flavors - no disapproving looks from the critics yet, so far, so good!

Then it happens...

I'm in the line at the till standing behind an old oomie when I hear a familiar gruff voice behind me.

"Hey boet, groet jy nie?" (Hey bro, Y u no say hello?).

I turn around and it's the farmer two properties down from us. A staunch conservative whose idea of fashion is Khaki and Cats (The boot, not the animal).

The dude is scanning my jacket like I'm hiding boobs under there or something.

I think, "oh hell, here it comes".

Silence drags on for what seems forever and I nervously stutter my "hallo oom" greeting. Beeping tills and background chatter fade to the background and I brace for impact...

"Jeete maar dis n lekker jas daai! Waar het jy hom gekoop?" (Epic jacket bru, where dost thou purchased so fine a garment).
I'm like "Wut?"

His wife murmurs similar thoughts while inspecting the workmanship of my totally swag yet evidently boer friendly jacket. They even interrogate me for the whereabouts of this awesome shop and head out the door in that direction.

I tell you what.

I walked out of Pick 'n Pay like that BeeGees chune was playing in the background! (Stayin Alive...).

That sweet sense of victory! Yeah baby!

I'm rollin, the boers are diggin my swag and the haters be silent.

Sah weet!

Now I just gotta get some lekker rims on my chorrie and an amposaurus in my boot with a kief woofer so that my watch and jacket don't feel so lonely...

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
31 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Howard Feldman
Seriously BDS, Get a Grip

The BDS need to acknowledge what a monumental failure their South African Woolworths campaign has been. Read more...

106 comments 3043 views
Submitted by
Pierre Willemse
Boks vs Wales - the final stretch

What an enthralling year of ups and downs it has been and in my opinion a lot more ups than downs. Read more...

0 comments 278 views
Submitted by
Craig Pedersen
Thoughts of Freemasonry

Founded in South Africa in 1756, Freemasonry is South Africas oldest fraternal organisation - if not the oldest established organisation.  Read more...

132 comments 3585 views
Submitted by
woadstress
Melancholy Madness

 Read more...

4 comments 174 views
Submitted by
NotSoMysteriousBrony
The folly of Labour laws

Recently I heard that government wishes to up the minimum wage requirements for domestic workers. This got me thinking about the increased strictness of labour laws in our country.  Read more...

34 comments 1524 views
Submitted by
Kalos eidos
The Rasputin behind Vladimir Puti...

Although appearing to embrace conservatism, today’s Russia seems to be a mass of contradictions especially with the emergence of a so-called Bolshevik party and its admiration of both Stalin and Tsarist Russia. Read more...

4 comments 873 views

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Magical Massinga

Spend 5 nights at the gorgeous Massinga Beach Lodge in Mozambique and only pay for 4 from R13 220 per person sharing. Includes return flights, accommodation, transfers and romantic turndown. Book now!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to 60% on toys!

Don’t miss out on this hot offer, save up to 60% on toys. While stocks last. Shop now!

Festive gifts!

Check out our awesome range of festive gifts to make everyone’s wishes come true. Shop now!

Seen something you like in our catalogue?

Find the perfect gift and save up to R5000 – As seen on the catalogue. Hurry and shop now!

Save up to R2200 on electronics! – As seen in the catalogue

Wishing for tech gadgets this festive? Save up to R2100 on hot tech products at kalahari.com. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 35% off books

Save up to 35% on the latest page-turners. While stocks last. Shop now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2014 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.








Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.