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Wayne Rittmann
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Thuli's Magic

20 March 2014, 10:51

In my opinion, Thuli Madonsela is a legend in her own lifetime – As far as I can see, someone who does not bow to peer pressure, who is seemingly incorruptible, and who calls a “spade” a “bloody shovel” when circumstance dictates.  The problem however, is that this single ray of sunshine is blotted out by the fat, bloated, dark, cold and wet rain-clouds that constantly overshadow our country, purging it of all that could be good. 

Just what long-term results her latest report will accomplish is yet to be seen, but what’s left of my money, - after income tax, fuel levies, E-toll, VAT and a myriad of licences and property related levies, taxes and “administration” costs, is on our wise and esteemed leader coming away cleaner than an eel from a pot of KY jelly and a nice refreshing shower.  He’ll merely adopt a shamelessly holier-than-thou attitude, and in a deprecating (as if pleading with idiots) tone say that the cost was either misrepresented by “bloody agents” or misinterpreted by ignoramii, or fully justified by his presidential needs – definitely not his wants.  All this whilst adjusting his spectacles with his middle finger of his right hand… one knows not what he’d simultaneously be adjusting with his left...although judging from his numerous offspring, it’d probably rhyme with “spectacles.” 

He’ll admit that the swimming pool may be a grey area, so to speak, -but that it really was intended as part of basic firefighting requirements; but that the chicken run exists as an early warning device, set cunningly to ensnare the unwitting intruder, who’d be set upon by prize-fighting feathered fiends, specially bred for the purpose; - that they’d be ably assisted by the steely-eyed and arrow-tailed, fire-farting cows in the cattle kraal, who are trained to stampede when the chickens cry fowl ...Ahhh, eish – who gives a continental about spelling – let alone puns and euphemisms these days anyway.  The point is that these are all valid excuses for the skulduggery that currently abounds. 

Truth be told, the righteous rule of law applied nowadays by those in charge, is so convoluted - and so selectively applied, that one needs to be concerned that you’ll be nabbed for taking an innocent stroll in the park, when a corrupt cop is looking for someone to pin his latest crime on, or possibly even when he’s looking for a bit of spare cash for the weekend.  Alas, the weakest of accusations would do, and before you could say “Nkandla,” some ape with tattoos and a less-than-happy disposition would be probing ones unmentionables at will, without any forethought given to one’s sensitivities or sense of personal space or taste.  I’m thankful however, that that bloody info bill hasn’t been passed to the degree that it was originally intended, because this writ would most probably have constituted high treason, punishable by worse than even Shabir could dream up.  -Bless his golf-playing, cigar-smoking,  happy little socks. 

Just look at that – I’ve veered completely off track again.  As I wanted to say at the beginning of this rant, that Thuli should be president.  I’d vote for her any day.

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