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Maureen Dent
 
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Time to ditch toothpaste

28 January 2013, 13:12

Big Money toothpaste companies are laughing at you (behind your backs, nogal!).

Was there ever a bigger scam pulled than the one which says Bacteria are evil! Bacteria are everywhere! Bacteria must to be killed!

We have TV adverts promoting a clinically clean home, which leads to women who grow their nails long so they don’t have to touch anything with their skin and pick up a dreaded germ. I see these types out in public, trying to hold a knife and fork with extended red claws. Heaven help them if they have to use someone else’s phone or, horror of horrors, use a public toilet!

So we have these deluded housewives madly scrubbing everything down with bleach and sanitiser, with absolutely NO concern for our environment which they are destroying. They live in a sterile world of misery, with an imagined threat of disease all around them. Sies!

But Ha! I laugh at them.

Here’s a fact for you: your teeth were designed to last a lifetime. Yet you have all been duped into visiting the dentists every six months and loading your mouths with chemicals (that is all toothpaste is, BTW).

The proper way to care for your teeth is:

1.      Correct diet. Cut out sugar and yes, cut out meat.

2.      Twigs were effectively used for centuries and are natures own toothbrush. All you have to do is chew on a twig and you will have natural bristle brush with healing herbs guaranteed to control plague and stuff. Try it.

3.      Salt is a great natural cleanser and even your dentists will tell you it is better than commercial mouth wash. Go on, ask him, I dare you to work out how much money you have been wasting.

Of these three methods, I recommend the first one especially. It is bad enough that we vegetarians have to suffer pollution caused by your mooing methane-machines. To add insult to injury we have to put up with the awful reek of decaying flesh stuck between your teeth.

Bad breath is simply not cool and if you are going to make a change anyway, why not start right now?

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