Speeding and Traffic Congestion
If you are driving slower than the speed
limit the tradition is to keep right and pass left like on would normally do in
America. If the right hand lane is full
stick to the one just left of it to box those maniacs in that have the audacity
to travel at the speed limit.
Those signs with the numbers on it indicate
the speed one must avoid at all cost.
You can go much faster or much slower but never ever travel at the speed
Cameras and Speeding
It is seldom possible to spot a speed
camera even though they are more common than flies picnicking on a dog’s
morning movement but if you do spot one, hit the brakes as hard as possible
even if vehicles behind you rear into each other. The idea is to reach a speed at least 40 km/h
below the speed limit to show your respect for the law.
and Pedestrian crossings
A pedestrian crossing is like a shooting
range, the idea is to try hitting a pedestrian.
The probability of success is directly related to the colour shade of
the traffic light. Mercedes is the best
car for this job because it comes fully equipped with sights on the bonnet.
Broken traffic lights are a common sight in
South Africa. Don’t bother using the light
as a four way stop. Nobody does and if
you do you are likely to be rear ended.
Stay safe and run it.
Indicators are never used in South Africa
but if you want to indicate your intentions use your vehicle’s hazard lights. This is a generic
indicator used to indicate anything a driver might want to do like a left turn,
a right turn, a u-turn or even a three-point turn. It is even used to indicate that the driver
is going to execute an amazingly stupid and dangerous maneuver.
Stop signs do not signal that you need to
stop at the crossing but rather at the speed bump 500 meters after the stop
sign. Nobody knows why but that is how it’s
Road signs have got nothing to do with
traffic. It was installed as a cheap
bill board for those animal lovers that do not quite love their animals as much
as the like to believe.
Never switch your headlights on in rainy or
foggy weather. It is a tool used similar
to a hooter. If you don’t like what
someone else does flash him if you don’t to hoot.
Interactive Gaming and Cyclists
Cyclists bring 3D interactive reality gaming
into the art of peak time driving. The
idea is to run them over. The more
victories you score by the time you reach your destination the more points you
and 3D Interactive Gaming
Motorcycling in South Africa is another
form of 3D interactive reality gaming where the objective is to travel at the
maximum possible speed the vehicle can produce, while snaking through traffic
without hitting anything. If you don’t
hit anything you score maximum points however if you do hit something, well ...
At least some child with kidney failure
will be very thankful.
City traveling also has some traditions. The
left hand lane is used as a double parking space provided the driver uses his
hazards. The right hand lane is also
used as a double parking space. In
actual fact all lanes can be used as a double, triple or even quadruple parking
space but remember just use you hazards when parked.
Stops and Parks
Any intersection is reserved as a taxi stop
or park. If a taxi obstructs an
intersection don’t bother to hoot because the taxi driver will think you are
another taxi trying to get customers.
If the weather is wet the tradition in
South Africa is to see how slow one can move without actually stopping. If you
can get your speed down to Sunday evening amble you have succeeded.
and Driving, Speeding and the Law
Basically motorists can do whatever they please
whenever they please however there is one thing you do not do and that is drink
and drive. Well you can drink and drive
but don’t be caught because that will result in a criminal record.
The traffic department in South Africa is managed
like a business. The most money for the least
effort can be made during the festive seasons like any other business. We only have two festive seasons and that is
Easter and Christmas. During the festive
seasons the cops are as active as rodents after winter hibernation. Between the festive seasons cops return to
mostly a cybernetic state. So if you are
going to speed or are going to drink and drive do it between the festive seasons
not during the festive seasons.
South Africa is very proud of its drag
racing tradition. In South Africa you will
most definitely get the opportunity to witness a drag race. These races usually take place between two or
more overloaded non roadworthy trucks creeping up a hill next to each other. You, the admirer will be stuck
in a long queue of vehicles impatiently waiting for an opportunity to get pass
Drag racing has even improved since the
highways in and around Jo’burg has been upgraded. Up to five overloaded non roadworthy trucks
can now take part in a single race.