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Two-wheeled morons

14 March 2013, 07:23

I don't need to set my alarm clock any more, as I get woken every morning by the same, annoying sound emanating from the chrome penis extension that finds itself attached to these so-called super bikes. If they're not revving their motors in the driveway, to let everyone know of their miserable existence, they're roaring down the road at high speed with their high pitched drone resonating through the neighbourhood.

The only reasonable motorcyclist I've come across lately was one whose bike no longer functioned. I put them in the same league as BMW drivers, who gravitate towards these sort of vehicles because of their aggressive design, thus reflecting their own nature for the world to see. I believe they have what it commonly referred to as SPS (small penis syndrome), and this remains their only way of compensating for their inadequacy. Or they have such low self esteem, that they find this is the only way to attract attention to themselves.

If that sound is so important to them, can't they simply record it and listen to it in the privacy of their own home, or through headphones? No, of course not, because that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?

Years ago, one used to hear of the occasional motorcyclist being knocked down on the radio, then it became one a day, and now it's up to three a day. Quite frankly, I don't find this surprising at all. Everyone knows how they ride, and one has to wonder if the number of wheels always outnumbers their IQ. I know that it's perfectly legal to ride between lanes, but at the speed at which it's done, it's a wonder not more are knocked down. They also seem oblivious to the fact that people no longer indicate their intention, so any vehicle could cut in front of them at any time.

I went cycling up Chapman's peak the Sunday before the Argus Cycle Tour, and there were hundreds of cyclists, people walking, people jogging. These morons on their motorcycles came tearing up, cutting corners, and putting peoples lives in danger. Last year I saw a cyclist that had been knocked off his bike by one of them, and all that was left behind when I passed on the return trip was a large pool of blood.

I know that there are motorcyclists who are not idiots, but I think that nowadays, they seem to be a rare breed in this country. I wish super bikes could be banned, but I think, that because of their behaviour, they'll turn out to be a dying breed anyway.

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