PLEASE NOTE:

MyNews24 is a user-generated section of News24.com. The stories here come from users.

 
Tyronehster
 
Comments: 10
Article views: 356
 
 
Latest Badges:



 
View all Tyronehster's badges.
 

Wedding Celebrations

30 May 2014, 21:45

All was resplendent, Nkandla was gleaming

And Jacob, the groom to be, was all a-bleaming

His pending nuptials to his bride number seven

Were giving him thoughts of his own private heaven

The tuck shop was stocked up with only the best

The other six wives had been put to the test

They knew they dare not run out of puza today

For if they did all they could do was to pray

That their husband, wise Jacob, would not be unkind

If the visitors had at least drunk themselves blind

And he and his bride, safe ensconced in their bed

Would not worry if skokiaan were served instead

The guests were arriving in cars fit to brag

From waBenzis to Beemers and even a Jag

There were Hummers, of course, though the others were slicker

And even a Bentley, with a Kaizer Chiefs sticker

These were the cream of the ANC brass

And even old Rat was there, trying to creep ass

Cause Jacob had promised such glorious things,

The Cardinal of the new church, borne up on wings

On promises that he’d fulfilled to the letter

Of blessing dear Jacob, the sooner the better

The new church would be blessed the whole ANC

And Cardinal Rat would, of course, oversee

And he would stand here and bless him, beside a sangoma

And give them his blessings here inside the boma

And bless this new marriage with God’s holy Book

And watch the bones roll, and not dare even look

But he knew without doubt where his bread had the butter

So never so much as a qualm would he utter

For here was his chance at true greatness indeed

Within the ninth circle, that fed on his greed

Nkandla fell silent, the moment was here

With the sky blue above them, and utterly clear

The bride was led forward, dressed only in reeds

And promised to tend to all Jacob’s needs

The weeding was sealed, by virtuous kiss

And loud ululations demolished the bliss

The bride was led off, to prepare for her night

With this man she had married, her parents’ delight

Now the men started drinking, with the greatest intent

And so much was the booze, there was never a dent

The tuck shop was not on this day running dry

As the sun went down and slowly darkened the sky

With much raucous laughter and many loud songs

The men drank their whisky and bragged of their schlongs

One said his mathondo was much larger than those

And compared it against any fireman’s hose

Well, now was the time for our Jacob to rise

With a tip of his head as a nod to the wise

He staggered out into the darkness of night

To show his bride this great magnificent sight

He went to the hut and, bending, looked inside

And there he saw Blade making love to his bride

He stood up and guffawed and shouted with glee

‘Au, Blade is so drunk that he thinks he is me!’

Disclaimer: All articles and letters published on MyNews24 have been independently written by members of News24's community. The views of users published on News24 are therefore their own and do not necessarily represent the views of News24. News24 editors also reserve the right to edit or delete any and all comments received.
 

Read News24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
10 comments
Add your comment
Comment 0 characters remaining

Read more from our Users

Submitted by
Craig Pedersen
The man who destroyed the police

I shall mourn the passing of an institution that once served with pride and dignity. Read more...

49 comments 15007 views
Submitted by
R. Diedericks
The day our boat broke on the Mek...

After an hour the 1.5 litre bottle was finished. So was I, and that’s the beginning of how our boat broke on the Mekong Delta. More about that next time! Read more...

3 comments 753 views
Submitted by
Michelle Geldenhuys
War, Revenge & The EFF

My manifesto is simple: Love your fellow South African Read more...

23 comments 1155 views
Submitted by
Pierre Willemse
Cricket World Cup - can we do it?

Since the Proteas world cup squad has been announced the big question in everybody's lips has been can this team go all the way? Read more...

22 comments 1393 views
Submitted by
Thulane Che Trosky
Submitted by
Prince EA

Jobs in Cape Town [change area]

Property [change area]

Travel - Look, Book, Go!

Kalahari.com - shop online today

Save up to 40% on outdoor accessories!

Tents, sleeping, day packs and more. While stocks last. Shop now!

Month End Madness Sale!

Save up to 60% on across a wide range of goods from books to electronics, DVDs and many more. Sale end 31 January 2015. Shop now!

Valentine’s Day gifts – 14 Feb!

Gifts to spoil him and her. While stocks last. Shop now!

30% off fragrances

Get 30% off fragrances for him and her. While stocks last. Shop now!

Up to 30% off All Textbooks

Save up to 30% off an extensive range of prescribed textbooks for all major universities and FET colleges. Shop Now!

OLX Free Classifieds [change area]

Samsung Galaxy s4

Mobile, Cell Phones in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 24

Best bargain in big bay

Real Estate, Houses - Apartments for Sale in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

VW Golf 6, 1.6 Trendline (Excellent condition)

Vehicles, Cars in South Africa, Western Cape, Cape Town. Date October 25

 

services

E-mail Alerts The latest headlines in your inbox

RSS feeds News delivered really simply.

Mobile News24 on your mobile or PDA

E-mail Newsletters You choose what you want

News24 on your iPhone Get News24 headlines on your iPhone.

SMS Alerts Get breaking news stories via SMS.

Blogs Your opinion on you, me and everyone.

Calais Website keywords automated by OpenCalais.

 
Interactive Advertising Bureau
 
© 2015 24.com. All rights reserved.
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.