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Charles Dumbwin
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What Religion am I?

06 November 2012, 10:00

What Religion am I?

Let’s play a game.  If you can guess the mystery religion, then you can have the rest of the week off, compliments of MyNews24. 

The game is called, ‘What Religion am I?’  

The following cornerstone philosophies form the basis of today’s mystery religion.  Can you guess which one it is?

-          Knowledge and wisdom instead of self-deceit

-          Kindness to those who deserve it, not wasted on fools

-          Vital existence instead of spirituality

-          Mankind is just another animal, evolved, but still an animal

-          Promotion of indulgence instead of abstinence

-          You are your own redeemer, accountable only to yourself

-          Promotion of free-thought, uniqueness and creativity, the love of self, survival of the strongest and natural selection

-          Promotion of materialism and individualism

-          You have only this life, live it your way and to its fullest

So, have you guessed it yet?

I know what you’re thinking.  After all the banter between the two camps on either side of the religious-debating fence, you probably know which religion I’m referring to.

Or, just by reading through the above, you’re absolutely convinced that you know the answer to today’s mystery religion, because it’s so deliberately obvious.

But no, I’m not referring to the religion of atheism. 

In fact ladies and gentlemen, the list of ideologies above is taken directly from the religion of Satanism.  Yes that’s right - full blown, mass recruiting, supermarket Satanism.

You guessing atheism was understandable though, an easy mistake to make; although technically, you were right all along.  Indeed, the two religions share matching ideologies and philosophies and are pretty much identical in every way.

By deduction then, it’s only logical to conclude that they must both (either directly or indirectly) ultimately serve the same god.

"True Atheism is the purest form of Satanism" - Anton Lavey, co-founder of the Church of Satan.

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God" - 2 Timothy 3:1-4

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