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Irukandji
 
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What are you worth?

29 June 2012, 14:14

If your body is to be broken up into chemicals and minerals, what do you think it will be worth?

After the shock of seeing the price of a bed in a shop the other day, I wondered if anyone deserved to sleep on such an outrageously priced piece of furniture. This *kooi was selling for R94 000! I kid you not. So what are you getting for your money, I asked the shop assistant who looked me up and down like something the ANCYL dragged in.

“Five electric motors and a vibrator that will shake the living bejeezus out of your weary body to make you relax,” she replied.

“And what happens when we have power sharing? Does the bed have its own generator?” I asked.

“No, sir, that will cost you another R20 000.”

Smart aleck, I thought, and left the building.

I then did some **research as to what the human body is worth. I’d like to share this with you; for what it’s worth.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils, the human body consists of the following chemical and mineral composition: Oxygen, Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Calcium, Phosphorous, Potassium, Sulphur, Sodium, Chlorine, Magnesium, Iron, and Iodine.

But that’s not all! You also get!

Our bodies also contain trace quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminium, and arsenic.

Now, in case you were wondering why the cable thieves haven’t targeted you to steal the copper, iron, and aluminium in your body – to be sold to the scrap metal merchants – all the chemicals and minerals in your body are worth less than one dollar – or about R8.30 at today’s exchange rate.

The human head weighs roughly 8% of the body’s weight. This means roughly 6.4 kg in the case of a person weighing 80 kg. Doesn’t it seem preposterous for this person to put a hat, costing R6 000, on his R0.66 head? Or shoes; selling for R8 000, on his R0.25 feet? Or a R3 million ring, on his girlfriend’s R0.02 finger?

Or sleeping on R94 000 beds with R8.30 bodies?

Everyone is up in arms over the new R2 billion VIP 777 Boeing that our president is going to buy for his frequent trips overseas. I’m not complaining.

Transporting his spear, weighing 97 kg, is priceless.

*kooi – bed

**research – get some ridiculous answers from Google

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