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BrainCandyCPT
 
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Where does religion go when you're typing with one hand?

17 January 2013, 12:01

This is quite a saucy subject, with only one rule... both hands on keyboard for the duration of this discussion.  Unless, of course, you cling-wrap it first.  No, Hermann, et al, not your hand!

During a debate a short while ago (live, not online) I asserted that I have yet to date a Christian man who didn’t want to have sex with me, despite us not being married.  I’ve had men, on dates, talk about their God and tell me how important their religion is to them when, straight after dinner, all such talk would be out of the window as they tried their darnedest to get a leg-over.

My claim, during aforesaid debate, was that when it came to sex, religion ceased to matter.  At least for a while.  My punishment for making such a sweeping statement was to prove it.   Sigh.  Being the lazy cow I am, I avoided all the long-winded psycho-babble stuff that’s already, no doubt, been written about the subject - I just went straight for the jugular.

Found a site called, wait for it.... *drum roll* Naaibuddies.  Yes, I kid you not.  What’s confusing, is that this site is linked to many other sites, such as Married but Looking, Marital Affairs, After Dark, Midnight Dating and a whole host of others.  Rumour has it that the company is owned by a South African living in London.  He must be coining it, is all I can say. Interestingly (and cleverly) enough, women can join for free, which is just as well, because that’s exactly what I did.  In the name of research, you unnerstand?

Nou ja toe.  Jislaaik jong... I’m clearly more conservative than I thought I was.  Sure, I’m aware of internet porn - never been my thing, so I’ve never bothered with it.  But who knew that there were dating sites like this?  Sheesh, I have never seen so many penises in my life.  In all shapes, forms, positions, colours, sizes.  As for the women... Oh my goodness, oh my goodness (thanks Annie)... The amount of really ugly, really disgusting looking you-know-whats are enough to make you vomit in your mouth.  But, there are, ag, probably about 30% (thumbsuck) of users who have pictures of themselves on there - their faces, that is.  Go figure.

Anyway, the point of this is, that I won my debate.  Hands down.  From what I gathered 70% of men on that site are, wait for it.... *drum roll”... Christians.  The Muslims, the Hindu’s, why, they too have no shame in stating their religious persuasions and convictions, alongside pics of their dicks.  These guys even write diary entries about their wives, either that they f*cked them good and solid last night or bemoaning the fact that they didn’t, and is anyone else interested, if you please.

Having said all of this, I would say that in the process of doing the research (I swear, your Honour, it’s the truth, I tell ya) I came to feel some pity for the few guys who appeared to honestly love their wives and their families.  One man said, in private correspondence (I questioned him re his Christianity and the fact that he’s married and on a site such as that), that his wife had been raped some years ago, and was very anti sex.  He seemed extremely honest, siestog jinne.  Another said he was married to his childhood sweetheart, and adores her - she is his best friend - but she told him straight that she was not into sex anymore.  At all.  Whatsoever. Can’t help feeling sorry for that oke either.  If it’s true, of course.  One could theorise that if you disallow sex, it becomes all the more desirable.

Not one Christian I questioned felt any guilt about being on those sites.  They all ‘justified’ it.  Hmm... Speaks volumes. And sounds familiar...

Disclaimer:  If you go onto these sites as a result of this article and find your parter there, don’t shoot the messenger.  

Note to the users of such sites, in this case, the men:  You guys with pics of ‘just’ your penis - do you honestly think that if I were your wife (and yes, people, most of the people on this site are married) I would not recognise your penis/underpants/chest, our toilet (yes, they really do take pics of themselves sitting on the loo)/bathroom/tiles/bedroom/your office?  

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